Custody question

I’m helping my boyfriend start the process to seek joint custody/visitation of his child with his ex (never married). I have a couple questions

Is there a difference between joint custody and visitation? He wants their child to remain in her home and her to remain the custodial parent. He lives three hours away so realistically will only have one weekend a month and agreed holidays to really spend with his child. Right now she has withheld contact for about a year (since he moved). He spent the first 8 years living with her and his child before they split about 2 years ago

He is happy to pay child support but can his ex say that one weekend a month and holidays is not enough? If he’s going to pay child support can she dictate that or will a judge say that’s reasonable due to distance?

Thanks for any help