Frustrated with 4 month old

I feel like he is constantly wanting to be held or constantly crying or whining 
I never do anything for myself. I'm lucky if I even get a meal in. I'm to the point where I cry.
My mom tells me to calm down but I'm allowed to be frustrated and her telling me to calm down only makes me more angry 
I never go out and do things. I never hangout with friends. I feel like I'm stuck in my dark room holding a baby who wants to nap 24/7