Am i being dramatic?

So ever since i became a mom i have been going through really hard times. With my inlaws, my husband, my family, my milk supply vanishing at 5 months, and add the PostPartum depression to that. Then me going throughreally stressful days financially that caused my uterus to kind of shrink which cause me to bleed for 22 days straight and i had to use pills for monthss and months to stop it.

On top of that i really had hard time adapting to motherhood and ever since my baby started walking at 11 months (he is 22 months now) he never stops, even when its bed time.. and i lost weight and i am actually underweight now.. and taking my vitamins no worries ladies💕 i got few iron shots and B12 as well so doing better but you know i guess i have been talking to my mom alot about my hard times.. and i always tell her how hard my boy is and so active and that i fee like am done lol.

So today we were in the garden and my son was running and playing like crazy as usual lol and then i told my mom (oh god he never stops does he, i feel like am so done after just one child) and then she says(stop talkingthis way, what if god takes him away from you) and i was like (i never meant it that way) and then my son falls so badly and starts crying and we both run to grab him and i hold my son to see if he is ok and she goes (see, stop talking "am done" or like "am fed up" ... ) and she makes me feel SUPER guilty about it and i go to the room to bathe my son and put him to sleep and i cry and start thinking what if something happens to him while he is asleep? I am the reason if something happens yo him its all because i always talk shit and not thankful.

But then after few hours i feel like she was so toxic , like who would want their baby dead or gone? I was just talking to her how tired iam because he is so energetic. I have bo friends or whatsoever so who am i going to talk to other than her.