Broken

Why is divorce so hard? I’m starting to wonder if this is normal or if I’m just pathetic and broken. Why can’t I let go of someone who doesn’t love me anymore, someone who isn’t the man I married 8 years ago? It’s been 5 long, horrendous months and I still wake up wondering if this is really happening. I still think about him constantly, still get a knot in my stomach whenever I eat. I still can’t hear a thunderstorm without being reminded of how much he loves them. I can’t even escape with sleep because when I dream, it’s about him. He picks up our kids and even the sight of his hands is too much because I’m reminded that those hands are holding someone else. What is wrong with me? He’s moving on and I’m still absolutely shattered. He’s loving someone else and I can’t even let myself imagine the future without him because it’s enough pain to bring me to my knees. Im pathetic :( how do I let go?