Advice: Getting Over My Ex

this year I decided to end my almost 10 year relationship.

Pros:

Good father (we share 2 daughters)

Paid bills

Fixed cars

Fixed anything broken in the house

Supported my business

Hard worker

Cons:

Don’t like holding hands

Don’t like going out

Don’t like kissing in public or showing public display of affection

Didn’t bath regularly or brush teeth

Didn’t know how to cook

Wasn’t affectionate behind closed doors

Never wanted to make love it was always a rush intimacy so rarely “ before play”

Had to pull teeth for him to just to take the kids to the park

Couch potato

Ate a lot gained 50lbs but didn’t want to work out or change his lifestyle

Diagnosed with hypertension but didn’t take it seriously.

I had to schedule all his appointments

Didn’t clean or do dish including laundry

Didn’t like take pictures

But he gets into a serious relationship weeks after us. And start doing everything with her that I asked him to do. They hold hands, take pictures, and now even live together. He’s even told me they do laundry together. When I ask why couldn’t he do this with me and that’s all I wanted was a little love and affection he replied he was younger when we met (age 19) and he’s learned from me that girls do like those things so he does it for her because he doesn’t want to mess things up with her.

I cry most days thinking why couldn’t he just do it with me. I didn’t want us to end but I needed more love especially after the miscarriages.

I’m seeing someone (we’re not serious) because I’m so broken. I’m scared to trust and fall in love again I’m not over my ex but my ex is over me.

New guy I’ve been dating for 5 months:

Pros:

Family oriented

Financially supports our dates

Shows affection indoors and outdoors

Takes pictures

Goes out

Great hygiene

Cook for me and my kids

Great cleaner

Works on houses

Work on cars

Has his own business

Clean rater he doesn’t eat pork or beef

Take vitamins

Watch sugar intake

Sex is amazing fr

No been married

No kids but went through a miscarriage with someone

Cons:

Day/night drinker

Dated a lot of women longest relationship was 8 years he talks about the women he’s encountered. (He’s 51 I’m 29)

During arguments he prefers silence if we can’t agree on something

Horrible texter but he blames it on his age (“we didn’t have texting I prefer to be in person texting is for simple questions or answers”)

Doesn’t do titles

Because he’s been with a lot of women I feel like he’s just “stopping by” even though his last time with a woman was 2+ years ago. He makes it seem like he can’t get over his ex. I’ve met his family they expressed how happy he is now and how the break up with his ex pretty much destroyed him. He talks about his ex’s and what he could have done better I feel like in our relationship he’s learned and applying what he’s learned to us. I’ve met his family I attended every event including birthdays. They’ve met my children. But since I’m still not over my ex sometimes I withdraw and can be difficult to handle. I get sad, mad, and depressed. He does help and even stated he’s ok with being my rebound in which I didn’t admit but now I realized he is my rebound.

I don’t know what to do