Next level miserable husband

Long, hang with me: I'm currently pregnant with baby #3. My husband was unsure about having children, but agreed that one might be nice. And it was! She was a dream baby and is growing into a wonderful person. She was so great, that I begged for #2 for 8yrs.

My husband agreed. I understood at the time that he was doing this because he loved me and wanted me to be happy. He didn't actually feel a desire for two children. He has been miserable since. #2 is 19 months old. My husband has been cold, snappy, and downright explosive with anger since that pregnancy. We're talking two years. #2 is a HARD kiddo and I have done all heavy lifting. All nighttime feedings, all wakings, all baths, and 90% of diapers. This is despite working full time and my husband being laid off during pandemic (now working part time).

We were in couples counseling, and then bam, #3 ! My husband is stuck in freakout mode and has been a complete A$$ for 20 weeks. He admits he is selfish and he is miserable and he doesn't want three kids - didn't want 2 kids and I should've known that he'd be a jerk - but has no plans for counseling or talking to a Dr about depression.

Has anyone else experienced this disconnect with thier spouse? I'm at a loss as to my next steps. He can be a giant ass, but I do love them and he has other wonderful qualities, they just aren't shining lately