Whats considered cheating.

Me and my husband share a bank account. He has Iphone charges on the account but we both have androids. I asked him if i needed to call the bank snd report them he said yes, that he was wondering why everytime he put money in the bank it was gone. So i called the bank. He said they can cancle the cards and send new ones but i needed to contact apple to figure it out. So i contacted apple and they couldn't realease any information to me about the charges just that they were in fact made using my husbands card. So i logged onto his email and low and behold he has a secret i phone and is paying for a dateing app subscription on it. So just to be sure i typed in the dateing app and low and behold again there is a password in an email from july 20th. A week after i told him i was pregnant..... so I logged onto the dateing app. No pictures... different name, but its my husbands birthday, email, and there was messages to 23 different people. Only 18 messaged him back. There qas nude pictures , sexual messages and VOICE messages of my husband speaking. After a long argument about how he it wasnt him i exsplained to him we have been together long enough.. married 2 kids... I know what his penis looks like and i know his voice. .. its him.... in OUR bathroom talking about what he wants to do to these women. But after he finally admitted it was infact him. He is still saying there is no iphone and that he is sorry im hurt but he doesnt feel bad bc he didnt do anything unfaithful to me. That he didnt meet any of these people. That it was pure fantasy and the messages do indicate he never met them anytime they asked to meet he changed thw subject when they asked for his number he didnt give it to them and no face pics.. he also told them he wasnt looking fir a relationship. Just to have some fun.

To me he cheated on his pregnant wife . We have a 8 month old and a 4 year old.

I spoke to a therapist this morning via text and she said that according to the law its not cheating and that most relationships go through this but mainly with porn, and that my husband instead of getting off on por is getting off on these people talking dirty to him.

Iv googled every relationship article i can find and they all say the same thing. Its not technically cheating and to set boundaries and move fwd. I assumed these boundaries were already set when we said our vows and i started getting suspicious a few weeks ago when I seen the first apple charge but he said a friend needed to pay the phone bill so he used his card and gave him cash, but when he came home i said are you sure your only for me and not talking to other people? He said yes untill my last breath just you and me. I know its cheesy but it was rhe reassurance i needed.

I even asked him if its ok for me to send nudes and dirty talk to other people and he said im sure your already doing it anyways and i cant get mad about something I dont know. He turned the whole situation around on me basicly that im crazy bc he didnt actually meet these people and im overreacting. But being 3 months pregnant i already am an emotional disaster and i recently quit my job to stay home for a while with the kids so i just feel alone and not wanted now. like im not good enough...

Am i over reacting. Even the therapist said its normal and to just set boundaries for our relationship and move fwd. I just feel like my feelings are not being validated and everyone is telling me this is nirmal behavior and not cheating.