I’ve been grappling with this for months. And after 1 abortion an a few pregnancy scares I think I’m really ready to throw in the towel and decide that I never want to have children ever

I told my friend this and she said she doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and I should do what makes me happy but there’s no good reason for me doing this. I just honestly never see myself with kids for no reason, I feel like being a mother is one of the most selfless unrewarded jobs you can take on as.m a woman. And I feel like I’m not going to be ever fully ready to give up my body, potentially life, finances and time into somebody else 100% completely. I see women with mom bodies and a lot of “mom bodies” aren’t good looking to be honest, and while I’m not trying to body shame I just never would want to look like that. Saggy breasts, stretch marks, loose skin on the stomach and other areas — it all makes me cringe. Everybody in my life is telling me I’ll regret this later but I really don’t feel like I’ll ever have the capacity it takes to be a mother — and I feel like I’m not ready to subject myself to the pain of having a child.

Not only that, I’ve seen a lot of couples — famous and regular people, break up shortly after having the baby. I just don’t want to ever be out here like that. Everybodies making me feel terrible for wanting my tubes tied but if I did hypothetically get pregnant I’d probably die of shock during the delivery from my scoliosis. I deal with chronic pain every day and it’s hard to function. I really don’t want to get my tubes tied but I feel like it’s the best decision for me.