Should I tell him?

Please please please read.

This is long. I ask that you don't read the first two sentences and cast judgment. Please read it all and then give your input.

Thank you!

I had a baby with a man I barely knew. Yes. I know.

He and I went on a few dates over two months and I did get pregnant. Things between us stopped immediately and he didn't want to be apart of my life because I refused to have an abortion.

A couple of weeks before I gave birth, he came around, apologized for how he responded and reacted and said he wanted to be apart of the baby's life. I was ok with that.

A few weeks later he was freaking out and overthinking things and told me he couldn't do this. I was like ok whatever. (I was fully able to support myself and my family was fully present and I didn't need or depend on him - he also never helped or offered to in any way)

A few weeks later, he came around, wanted to be involved. I was like ok. And then a few weeks after he freaked and said he can't do this. I was like ok whatever.

This happened for the first 6 months of our child's life.

I got to the point where I was tired. He was emotionally draining. And I cut him off. Stopped talking to him - and he did the exact same. We both went silent for nearly 10 months. Again I didn't feel like I was lacking we were fine without him and never asked for his help or his involvement. You can't force a man to be a dad.

From time to time (after those 10 ish months) he would text and ask how the baby was. I was cordial and to the point. Doing ok, doing this, reached this milestone, etc. If he asked to see a picture I sent one. No biggie. I didn't care or wasn't bothered. I would say he reaches out two times a month to ask how the baby is. Not to see the baby just "I miss the baby and how is the baby". For the record, I have asked if he would like to see the baby and he says he isnt sure or isn't ready and no. So I stopped asking because of the replies I got from him when I did ask.

OK. Fast forward. This is how it has been for nearly 3 years now. Texts to ask how the baby is once or twice a month. I moved on and in fact I am engaged. The baby has my last name - I'm the only parent on the birth certificate and documents as well.

I want to know if I should or need to tell him that I'm engaged and planning on changing the baby's name (to my future husband's last name once we marry next summer)