This is a long one. There is some upsetting subject matter, please don't read if you don't have the headspace for this right now. I would like some thoughts and maybe even advice. My best friend is in a horrible situation and I've no idea of any way to help.

My best friend's younger brother joined a church to marry a woman. This particular church has very strong opinions specifically surrounding women's rights and roles, and how children should be raised.

They had their first child I believe about 2 years ago now. I don't remember if she had prenatal care. They do not believe in vaccinations or ultrasounds but I seem to recall she had a due date so maybe she did go in? I'm not sure.

So the birth of the first was a home birth with a doula and her mother. Baby was born in distress, she had aspirated meconium and was not breathing. The doula called 911, and baby girl was transported to the local hospital to be stabilized, then life flighted to UCSF NICU. Without getting into everything, it took a lot to get the little one stable enough to go home. The mother believes everything would have been fine and that the doula ruined her home birth. I have not heard of any deficits suffered by the baby, they do not take her to the pediatrician so that sort of thing would not be noted. Maybe they have their own standard of measurement within their community?

Second birth, she refused all prenatal care this go around. She started saying she could deliver any day mid September. She just had their son the night before last. It was just her and the father and their 2 year old. She didn't want anyone there because she didn't want anyone to ruin the birth.

My best friend is the only person who has been allowed to the house since the delivery. The newborn still has blue extremeties and he has not nursed since delivery, so over 24 hrs. The mother is saying, "if he wants to nurse he will" and just letting him sleep. The mother's mother is being allowed to visit in the morning.

My poor best friend is just feeling sick with worry for the little one, she doesn't know what to do. She's been banished from seeing her neice until recently over a disagreement about tetanus shots, she's worked really hard to be allowed to visit and if she reports her concerns and the authorities are unable to do anything she'll have burned the bridge and the kids will be alone.

Thoughts?