Hi Mamas, last night I had a miscarriage. I want to share my experience to help you with yours whether you’ve gone through this yourself or just want to learn more.

I was 7 weeks exactly yesterday. In the afternoon at work I noticed very, very faint pink on the toilet paper after I peed. It alarmed me because I have not had any spotting and overall my pregnancy seemed on track (classic symptoms of nausea, fatigue, bloating, lightheadedness, food aversions). I have not had any ultrasounds in fact our first was scheduled for this coming week.

In the evening at home with my wife I continued to see very, very pink on the toilet paper after I peed and also light clear-ish/pink/brown mucus. I also had mild cramping and bloating but assumed nothing was too wrong and this would pass.

I went to bed at 10:30pm and woke up at 2am with warm liquid around my vagina and thighs. I walked 15feet to the bathroom, holding my vagina and out came a burst of red blood and uterine lining. Not a little, but a lot. Maybe 1/4-1/3 cup and all at once. It seemed to be mixed with a clear watery substance as well.

Of course in that moment I knew it was absolutely a miscarriage. Shortly after (within 5-10min) I started feeling strong cramping, took ibprofen and went back to bed with my wife. Thank goodness for her support and care. When I woke this morning I continue to have bleeding. Not the gush from earlier but a trickle of blood and uterine lining. Cramps continue but are not much more than the average period cramp.

I will message my doctor today and we’ll see what next steps are. Of course we’re sad but also trust that my body knows what it’s doing. I’m sure we’ll try again in a few months. I hope my story helps you in your journey. Wishing you all the best!

Update: it’s been about 5 days since my miscarriage started. Here’s what happened next. Cramps got a lot worse about 11/12 hrs after the bleeding started. So painful that I couldn’t speak through them. But after 2 hrs of that, I was feeling like myself again with only light cramping. We called my medical provider and an Advice Nurse walked me through questions one gets asked when they’re having a miscarriage: “how painful is it right now on a scale from 1-10?” And “how much are you bleeding? How often do you need to change pads?” She deemed me healthy and I mentally prepared for the good fate of going through the rest at home (vs D&C in the hospital).

I passed another 2 “clumps” of tissue later that day. The last was most certainly the placenta. Since then I’ve been steadily bleeding 1-3 tbsp per day. Not much. I’ve gone into get bloodwork done twice in the past 4 days to measure my HCG levels. My OBGYN said my HGC levels should halve every 24 hrs or so and she’s right, we are seeing my levels drop dramatically.

I spoke to my fertility Dr and she feels it will be likely to start <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> after my next period. But first we’ll do an ultrasound to make sure the tissue and blood loss is going as it should.

Hardest part about all of this is the sense of loss. For me it’s not necessarily the loss of an individual life (the embryo) but the loss of the new being I was becoming — a woman who was becoming more than herself. Motherhood is in my future but it doesn’t resolve the loss I feel today. Again, I hope my story helps you with yours.