I need opinions ??

Question

So me and my fiancé lost our first pregnancy back in 2020 at 12 weeks. We decided a few months ago we wanted to try again but I was having some issues with my mental Health and my periods went and got testing done hormones and everything are OK Doctor said they think it’s just stress so we decided to not really try so hard and just let things happen. Well my best friend just had a baby and asked me to be the godmother we went over to her house meet him and when I try to get my fiancé to look at him or hold him he wouldn’t come near me when I had the baby and when I show him pictures of my cousins new baby He will just side eye picture then just shrug his shoulders. He told  me he was ready for a baby but just acts weird when we’re around babies. Does he secretly not want a baby right now or does he know we’re having issues and he don’t want to get too attached to babies?  I asked him he won’t give me a straight answer. 😔

Answer

I’ll admit, I’m weird around other peoples kids. I don’t like to hold them, I don’t really care to see pix of them, I just have more of a “eh” attitude around them. But my baby? I’m obsessed and can’t enough. 
Just because he doesn’t want to interact or fawn over other peoples kids, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want his own. It is a totally different thing.

Answer

Me and my husband had a similar senario. I lost my son at 14 weeks gestation in Aug 2020, ended up with an op as hemoraged in October due to retained placenta. Fell pregnant late January but lost that one too at 7.5 weeks. My husband become very distant at a time when I needed him the most, it wasn't so much distant from me even though it felt like it, but mainly the subject of children, he took the pain internally, almost punishing himself, and everytime I mentioned it he would distance himself a little more, I did eventually get him to talk and what he said was that it was like pointing out a flaw, like showing him that he can't give us something that we tried so hard for. I think covid restrictions made it worse as I had to go through everything alone as he wasn't allowed in the hospital and for him that was like the hospital cutting him out the picture altogether, that part took its toll on us both. Then fell pregnant again in the April 2021 and have now made it to 35 weeks and I have to say he's not like that now although we will not forget the last 2 years for more than just 1 reason but there's a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.

Answer

I would think the latter. My husband and I struggled with miscarriages and then 2 years of TTC with nothing happening. It’s difficult to not be jealous of others who seem to grow their family so easily and to protect yourself from the pain by distancing from those events. So I get it. I could definitely be wrong, but I wouldn’t assume he no longer wants a baby. 
I hope you guys have some good news coming really soon!

Answer

He may be sad that you guys haven't had a baby. Wanting to avoid painful reminders of a loss or something you don't have is a common reaction.

I need opinions ??

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