I don’t think it’s gonna work out

I’ve been talking to a guy for close to a year now. We met playing online games, and have since play almost everyday, called each other all the time, text constantly. We have confessed feelings for each other, and I already have plans on going to go see him for a couple days right after Christmas. I really like, him he says he likes me, but I’ve seen red flags, some I can look past but others not so much. He has a drinking problem and is trying to stop but only for a day or two before he drinks till he passes out. He isn’t the most affectionate person, and occasionally I feel like he only says the things he says to get into my pants. I feel like I can’t truly be myself around him, like I have a history of mental illness and I have to pretend that I’m perfectly fine cause “I have experienced life”. He is 26, and in a couple days I’m gonna be 19. He treats me like a kid sometimes, like I don’t know that life is hard and he has to teach me. I also don’t feel like I can talk to him about anything that’s wrong with me. Recently I’ve been rethinking what I want to do in the future ( I wanted to be a nurse now idk) and I told him that OVER TEARS because I had a rough couple days, and he basically told me to grow up and just be nurse cause it would be cute. I don’t feel like I can express myself or be myself.

And I know that everything I’ve said is bad, and y’all are probably thinking why am no I with him, but he makes me so happy. Like the times when it’s just us playing and he says just the right things I feel really fucking happy. Anytime he texts or calls my heart and stomach flutters and I couple see a potential future with him. But there is so much I have to look past to get to the future. And if I were to stop seeing him idk how to bring any of this up.

Any advice would be so helpful and greatly appreciated!!