To get them gifts? Or not??

Question

Do you get gifts for your extended family - cousins/their kids. Last year I got all my cousins young kids a Christmas gift. I had an 8month off at the time and thought it would be nice to get their kids presents as well. They didn’t get my child anything in return or anything for his 1st birthday, despite me getting their kids presents for their birthdays, but I don’t expect a return gift either. I think if you give expecting back then it’s not only tacky but wrong. 
My question is, do I bother continuing to give gifts for them, their kids even though I don’t talk to them or live in the same state? 
They are my cousins on my dads side, my dad passed away from cancer 11yrs ago. My dad was my best friend, I loooooooooved hanging out worth them and wish I could more. I know if I still lived at home I would see them occasionally. My dad was a giver and I want to embodied him, I give the gifts because I love them and because I want to ensure my relationship with them remains despite the distance but..... is it worth it? 
Everything I’ve given I’ve found out to later be returned and that’s ok, it’s their gift to do as they please but it still kinda hurts. And I’m always the one to reach out. When do I call it? Or do I? 
I love my family, I miss them, and want a relationship with them but we are all late 20s-late30s so am I expecting something that’ll never happen? 
Just want advice before I bother sending more gifts, if I should even do that anymore.

Answer

If your goal is a relationship with your family, gift giving is probably not the way to go about it. It was thoughtful and generous but maybe your other family cannot do the same. Maybe they wanted to also give your child a gift but then would feel obligated to do the whole extended family like you did and it just wasn’t feasible.
Try to think of other ways to build a relationship with them!

Answer

I think your wording gives away what you should do.
You should give because you want to and because you find something for them. But if you're not sure if you should bother, then it's more a "should" than it is giving just because you want to.
Sliding away from cousins can be hard. But it usually happens as we get older and get our own kids and such. I can definitely feel the shift in having my cousins far from me and all of us slowly just spending time on our small kids and more close family.
That's okay. You can still embody gift giving - but maybe those gifts are for someone else now 😊

Answer

Maybe send a family game versus individual gifts

Answer

Hi thanks for being generous, it is a rare trate now a days. I understand wanting to give especially to family related to your dad. I had the same feeling for a long time after my dad passed. What changed for me was I'm not my dad, he could afford to be wonderful to people and did. I hope you find that balance in your life too. Also simplifying life of stuff is a huge I don't know how many people you gift yearly but less is definitely ok. If they returned it maybe next time ask them what they would want or send a gift card to do something instead of having something or ask what is needed like paying for groceries or a gas bill. Best wishes and thanks for your kind heart.

To get them gifts? Or not??

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