I feel like I'm being pressured into getting a VBAC

This is my 4th kid. My first 2 were vaginally and my 3rd was a c-section. Everyone always says how vaginally is easier to heal from and all that but inwas the exact OPPOSITE!!! Both my vaginally births nearly KILLED ME! First one I tore PASSED MY ass and almost bled to death. Was hurting for 3 months. Second tore my CLIT! And almost bled to death. Was in pain for 3.5 maybe 4 months. Third baby I told them to give me a c-section. I scheduled it and everything. My husband was in the room with me, he put headphones on my head to listen to music. I felt okay. C-section I felt fine. I didn't take it easy on my c-section much because I felt fine. Everyone kept telling me wait until the meds wear off.... Well I did take pain meds for about a weed and was fine after. My c-section was by far my best birth. I have a new OB. She's a women. My last one who delivered my other 3 was a male but he passed away sadly... She keeps trying to pressure me into a vbac and I don't want one. She keeps saying it will be better for me and the baby. Bitch every time I have a vaginal birth I end up needing a blood transfusion and almost DYING! I just feel so pressured and I honestly just want to scheduled my c-section and listen to my blues again and have a nice calm birth.