Heartbreak and Temptation

So, basically I had realized my feelings for a dude who I've known since sixth grade. He liked me back then, but I turned him down cause he was a dork. Honestly hes still a dork but that's the reason I like him now. But the thing is he has a girlfriend. I told him my feelings expecting it was just gonna be let it off my chest situation, but he says be still has some too. He has a decision to make, and while I wait for it to happen I get attached to this kid. We're talking way more frequently, and while I've always been comfortable with him I've never been on phone calls till like 3 with this bloke. Tbh I thought he'd pick me, he told me his girlfriend was acting cold, but I tried to prepare for the worst. Long story short, I ended up choosing her for him. And I hoped he'd pick me last minute, but no. It hurt like a motherfucker, I had killed something and to me it seemed like sabotage. I told him the truth about how much it hurt and also honestly about how I kinda hoped his relationship didnt work out he understood because damn you cant get that kid mad. But idk I have to force myself to keep those feelings at bay because its almost like he makes it too easy. But mostly I just hurt a lot.