Non-pregnant sister in law calling dibs on middle name?

Question

Hello all,
My SIL asked us what names we are thinking of and we told her we like the middle name Rae because it is my other SIL’s middle name and goes well with the first name we like. Well, she quickly got upset and informed us that she has always had dibs on that name. In my family, it isn’t abnormal to have multiple cousins with the same middle names. (Many of us want to name our kids after the same people in the family.) Keep in mind that she is not even pregnant. We are already pretty set on the name and feel that it would be unreasonable for her to expect us to change our minds, when her future child could just share a middle name with our daughter. Thoughts?

Answer

Nobody owns a name - personally, I wouldn’t even have answered her. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you using the name you want. Nothing wrong with you both using it! I think it comes down to - is she likely to let it go if you do use the name, or will you have to hear about it for the rest of your life?

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My sister always had Sophia picked out since high school. My cousin got his girlfriend pregnant and they used Sophia. Well she still named her little girl Sophia 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Dibs? Really? Her future child's dad may not even like that name. I had 2 names picked out all my life but guess what...hubby didn't like it so we went with something else that we both liked.

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I have many nieces & nephews that share middle names (both my side and husbands side) and nobody has thrown a fit about it. Middle names aren't as commonly used anyways, not sure what the big deal is. And (not to be rude) what if she never has any kids or winds up with only boys? My family does first names as first come, first serve 💁‍♀️, I'd say you could do the same for middle names

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My sister and I both used our mom’s middle name for our daughters. No one owns a name.

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You do you.

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You can name your kid whatever you want. My sister got mad because we picked the middle name Elizabeth for our daughter. And she always said if she had a girl that’s the middle name she wanted to use. Well she had two boys and they weren’t having anymore. Even if she was we we’d still use it. It’s just a name🤦🏼‍♀️ then my mom texted me and said “really you know that’s the middle name she was going to use. Can’t you pick something different”. Which made me mad. I had picked our daughters first name and told my husband he could pick the middle. I told them that was the name he picked and we both loved. I completely forget about the name she had picked out if she ever had a girl. It’s annoying when people get mad about someone else using a name you had picked out🙄

Answer

What does the sister you’d be using the name from think about it? I think this would be complicated to me. Normally I’d say you get first dibs since you’re pregnant first, but I’d feel like I was intruding on a sister bond type of thing like this. What does your husband say about it?

Non-pregnant sister in law calling dibs on middle name?

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