Talking about having kids

So I have always wanted children I went into this relationship talking about having children and so did he.. about a year and a half ago he had said he didn’t want kids because of the state of the world and stuff like that I brought it up several more times and said I wanted children eventually and every time he said he doesn’t think it would be a good idea.. so I have finally accepted that he doesn’t want children…. But today we were talking about random stuff and he looked at me and said he would love to have a family with me… my initial reaction (in my head) was no because I don’t want to have children if he isn’t 100% sure… when he said that my answer was “but we are already a family” (us and the dogs…. Which I know is not the same in any way shape or form) but he ended up changing the subject and we got off that topic quickly… when he went to bed (he works nights) I asked him what did he mean by he wanted a family with me and he just said I don’t know… (timing is not my strong suit lol)

So basically I know I need to talk to him seriously about having children.. but my fear is i don’t want to bring this up again if his answer will be the same as the last year and a half.. I don’t want to go through the heartbreak again of him telling me he doesn’t want children with me… every time we have talked about it it has crushed me… but I know this is something we need to talk about weather it goes in my favor or not…

So when I do talk to him about this..

What are some good things to think about and talk about with him? I want to make sure we are on the same page and completely serious about it before having children…

Topics I was thinking of bringing up..

•first of all is he actually serious about having kids and starting a family because I don’t want to do this back and fourth with him I either want to decide if we want children or not.

•religion. ( we are on the same page about this I just want to know how involved he would want our potential children in religion.. personally I would love to raise my children in the church and to grow up knowing god because I never had that growing up that is something that is very important to me)

•Schooling. (Home school or public… personally I would prefer to homeschool)

•Finances.

•Housing (weather to build on eventually or move because we live in a very small house 1b 1br)

•Parenting styles. (Like what rules we would eventually set in place and things he is okay with or not okay with.)

•chore division.. I am unemployed right now.. so I am prepared to do 99% of the work.. but I would like to see what he is okay with doing.. and I would hands down give up having a career for the chance to have a child.

• why he wants children with me now and why he changed his mind before..

There are a few other things that I guess would fall under parenting styles but I don’t really think those matter as much right now that would be more if we have a child.. (things like making baby food vs buying it. Breast feeding vs formula. Cloth or disposable diapers. Home birth vs hospital.)

Are there any topics I am not thinking of that I should bring up? And what are things for me to consider? Pros and cons of having children?

A little bit of a background on our relationship.. we are on the same page with everything except this.. we have a good relationship like we are able to get through tough times together even if we don’t agree we still love each other enough to work it out and are committed to each other no matter what. He is an extremely good man I absolutely adore him. I came from a not so good background so if I were to have children I would want to make sure they had everything they needed and the absolute best childhood I could give them.. please let me know what you think

Thank you god bless