Bad relationship:Advice?

Can I get some advice?

Im in a toxic marriage. Its bad. Everyone outside us recognizes that its bad. We have a 5year old. And have been together for 9 years.

I am constantly considering seperation. Constantly arguing. Constantly depressed and feeling hopeless. Constantly not feeling as though I am deserving of a good relationship.

He had an affair when I was 6months post partum. I had bad PPA(Anxiety)/PPR(Rage). Not an excuse for his actions,but just some side information on the situation.

I moved out of state with our daughter and he followed 6weeks later and we tried couseling to make it work. We did marriage counseling for 3 years before moving back to our home state.

State of our marriage is still horrendous. Lots of fighting. No physical. Just verbal. Emotional. All the things of that nature.

I am a child of Domestic Violence. I cant have my daughter growing up hearing it. Having the same anxieties I have.

I have kicked my husband out 2x in the last ~18months. The first time, he was throwing things. Straight red flag. Told him to GTFO. He was a drama queen in his car outside for about an hour before I was able to get his family to come pick him up.

He was gone for a week before we talked and I allowed him back under the pretense he went to individual counseling. He never did.

Second time I kicked him out- He put his hands on our daughter. He resorts to yelling and physical punishment nearly immediately. I have to solve their disputes or he threatens to spank her. I wont allow it as it isnt appropriate.

Cue the tears. He starts this sob story about how he loves us and his family and doesnt want to lose us and our home and our life. Etc etc.

I call him out and Im like 'Im not happy, how the hell can you say you are? I dont like this life. Why the hell are we here?"

We arent having sex. We dont kiss. I dont enjoy his company. His family is able to recognize how miserable we are.

Why wont he let things end??? What else do I say?? Im nearly worried he is suicidal- as his actions and behaviors are manic in highly emotional situations. The only option he would have is to move to his moms.

The home we live in bow belongs to my dad. It wouldnt make sense for myself and my daughter to leave.....

Why cant he see how bad this is? Why does he say he wants to be in this still?