Best friend forgetting your birthday?

Question

Hey! 
So, I’ll do the long version but also a short one at the bottom for people who cba (which is fair). 
It was my birthday yesterday. I’ve been having a very tough time recently with mental health and my relationship with my partner so the last few months haven’t been great. 
I love a birthday, I always put effort into other peoples and do like when others put effort in for mine. Though this is where I can get upset when the effort isn’t reciprocated, especially with my partner but that’s another story. 
So my best friend, love her and known her a long time. She has a young child, a fiancé and a job where she can’t reply to texts so I do cut her a lot of slack normally. She does suffer with mental health issues but I am Always there for her when she needs me and I am the first person she turns to. However, she has been very distant with me the last few months and does not reply to my messages. With the difficulties I’ve been going through recently, I’ve just wanted my best friend to talk to it about and to get a hug. But she never replies. She jokes about how bad she is at texting, and I finally got to see her for the first time in months last week for pre birthday drinks. 
I’m on a trip with my partner for my birthday and she rung me two days ago asking if I was free because her fiancé went out drinking. I said no because I’m in a different city, but let’s do something when I’m back. It’s strange she asked because she knew I was away, and I find it strange she rings out the blue. 
So basically, yesterday she never text me happy birthday. Our other friend in the group (not my best friend but very close with) put it in the group chat and we sent a few messages back and forth about our girls meal out in a week. Thanks to WhatsApp I can see she had read all those messages and chose not to wish me a happy birthday or respond to them. 
How am I supposed to feel or react? 
I’ve had some amazing friends from work and other friends send me some lovely messages and gifts, but this is my best friend and I’ve been feeling like she’s been ghosting me for a while now and it hurts. 
Short version: best friend never wished me a happy birthday despite reading a message from our other friend wishing me a happy birthday. Has been very distant recently and not been a good friend. I’ve been suffering bad with mental health and my relationship and she has not been there for me, basically feel like she’s ghosting me. 
Opinions?

Answer

I think it’s clear where she’s prioritizing your friendship in her life right now. It seems like she’s just not able to give the level of friendship you’re looking for. I’d distance myself from her a bit and start investing more of my time and energy into different friendships where the energy is reciprocated. Some people just put their friendships on the back burner after having children, but that doesn’t mean you have to allow non reciprocal friendships in your life just because she has a child.

Answer

I just went through something similar. Her bday is right before mine, I reached out and told her happy bday on hers, she said she hoped I would have a good day on mine, but didn't speak to me on my actual bday. I thought, well, she did give me well wishes for my bday in advance, so tried not to read anything into it, although it seemed out of character for her, but then she stopped talking to me completely. I gather that she believes I somehow betrayed her bc she posts melodramatic posts on social media about how you can't trust ppl and stuff about ppl being fake friends, but when I asked her about her posts she wouldn't say why she posted them, just said she was doing fine and then went back to not talking to me. So I decided to leave her in 2021. 🤷‍♀️ There's only so much you can do.

Answer

My bestie has been going though shit lately herself. She couldn’t get time off work for my birthday. She felt bad about it and went a bit quiet. Thing is instead of being upset i have tried to be understanding about her situation as well as mine. I rang her up, outside of the group chat and her usual working hours and i spoke to her personally. I didn’t go in angry or all guns blazing about my birthday or anything though i did mention it during the conversation, she apologised. I received a small surprise/sorry i forgot gift in the post the week after. 
You have 2 options if you really are a best friend, reach out or back away. 
Also understand it’s nearly Christmas and a difficult time of year for a lot of people, especially with this pandemic. You say she’s also got mental health issues. Be kind.

Answer

She probably called you for plans while you were away, either just cuz her man was busy or because it could look like she was putting out effort knowing she didn't have to follow though. As for not wishing you a happy birthday she clearly just doesn't care cuz it takes all of two seconds to type out.

Answer

I understand that she’s dealing with her own issues but as a best friend, saying happy birthday is the least she could do. Especially since she should know how much birthdays mean to you. Reading that HBD message from your other friend is shady because it gave her the perfect opportunity to wish you a happy birthday too. I’d feel some type of way for sure. Even if she isn’t a big texter, she could’ve called you or something because it only takes like 2 mins out of her day.

Best friend forgetting your birthday?

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