Alcoholic.

I am not an alcoholic and I never have been. I only drink on occasion.

But I am depressed. I know that I am.

And I think I get it now.

I have been tipsy and lowkey drunk (I don't like being really drunk) and it takes the edge of the depression. It feels softer.. I don't know how to describe it but being drunk feels especially nice. I can get why people would drink and rely on it.

Update:

I am not an alcoholic because I only drink on occasions. We had an occasion this weekend. I am not self medicating it was just an observation.