Just need to vent

Today mark 2 weeks since I had my son and it hit me really hard. I can't stop from crying . I had a dream about my son. But in the dream I gave birth to him and when I pushed him out he was connected to a heart shape placenta that was connected to another baby that was a preemie(really small). I have had a previous miscarriages in 2019 and the a Blighton ovum pregnancy in 2020 then preterm labor December 20th..... I just don't know what to do at this point.