Dear James,

I want to just tell you why I chose him over you. I want you to know the truth. The truth is that I was scared for you to stay with me when I was your first but you weren't mine. The truth is that when I asked for a break from our relationship, I knew then that would be the end. I tried to ignore it. But then I met Justin and his little boy... You know I have a soft spot for children...

The truth is I'm not as strong as you said I was every day. The truth is I'm not as good as you said I was every day.

Justin knows I still love you. He understands. I wish you did. I could barely handle breaking your heart... That was the first and last time I'll break anyone's heart... I'm weak, James. But with you as my friend, in my life, telling me so honestly everything you did, I felt strong. Now I have life growing inside me and I've never felt as weak as I do now, with out you to tell me I'm just being hormonal. I sleep all day now and can't sleep at night. My dreams are vivid ave I wake up hating myself a little more every time. There's only so much Justin can say to me, but you were my friend and I ruined it. I don't blame you, but I miss you.

I broke your heart. It's only fair you shatter mine.

Love

Your first love that never deserved you