Husband Cheating?

Question

So we got married in August and he's only been in love with one other girl his first but they broke up way before we started dating but I always felt he never got over her. Yesterday she messages me finds out they've been texting and it hasn't been sexual but he admitted to me he's thought about her and the what ifs throughout our relationship and he's texted her for advice in our relationship which I find super disrespectful. She was such a bitch called me names and said he will always love her and never get over her and he said the day we got married he got over her and hasn't thought about her since but it hurts since our whole relationship he did somewhat care and he would text her at our low points and a week before our wedding they talked on the phone for his "closure". I don't believe it was sexual and she said nothing was sexual while we were dating but it's the fact he lied and said he was over her and I get it she's his first but if he loved me wouldn't he be over her?

Answer

Put it this way when we are all little girls we don't grow up wishing the man we marry is going to be contacting his ex whenever we have a problem. It's extremely rude and inconsiderate he needs to delete her number and cut all ties with her for good. You have to wonder why she is so confident that he wants her. If it were me I might just have to go a Lil old school on her ass if you get my meaning lol. He needs to understand this is unacceptable behavior for someone in a committed relationship.

Answer

Maybe its me but he should have been over her BEFORE he married you. Like when you were dating.

Answer

I agree it is disrespectful and wrong and he needs to cut ties.... But marriages and healthy relationships should NEVER be based off ultimatums like some other people are telling you to do. You're married. I don't think "leaving him" should be your fall back plan. But he definitely does need to cut ties. You are his life partner. Not any other woman. Best of luck to you.

Answer

This is the writer... He's agreed to cut ties and we worked everything out she even admitted he was only talking good things about me and yet I still feel disrespected and I feel like I'm never going to trust what's going through his head like I feel like she has so much over me the only reason he chose me I feel is because she didn't want him anymore it's so hard for me to accept this but it's like I want to forgive him ugh

Answer

He should be over her. Talk to him about it. Explain to him how you feel when he did that. Where you feel on his list of priorities.

Answer

He needs to understand that though it may seem innocent to him and not technically cheating, it really makes you upset and uncomfortable. Ask him how he would feel if you had an ex that you contacted for advice about your marriage. Plus he shouldn't be having anything to do with someone who would treat you so disrespectfully like this woman did.

Answer

You have to consider that she may be jealous that he chose you over her. Always remember, he said his vows to you, not her. You should block every form of contact with her and have hubs do the same. There was 1 woman hubs and I had to do this with and knowing that she is completely blocked in every way is a big relief. I think you should let him know that what he did really hurt you but you will forgive him and move on. But he needs to know that doing it again in the future will not be tolerated. Good luck and try to remember that ultimately you are the wife, not her so you win.

Answer

Why would he even have married you if he obviously wasn't sure if he was over her. I mean really. How rude. I feel bad for you that has to hurt. You deserve better. So disrespectful of him..

Answer

Give him a choice. Stay with you or carry on talking and god knows what else with her. It's damn disgusting that he would message her about your relationship and marry you whilst still having her in his life.

Find out what he picks, keep a close tab on it if he picks you though. Make sure contact is Defo cut and if it isn't then take yourself out of the situation. Married or not you don't deserve to be placed second best to anyone but his mother (even then it's only cause she brought him into the world).

Answer

You need to give him an ultimatum and tell him he needs to calm her in front of you and tell her that he will not be speaking to her anymore as he wants to devote himself to his wife and for her not to contact him again. If he doesn't do that then you should ask him to leave. He married you and he shouldn't be doing that. If he won't do it in front of you then you will know he doesn't intended to cut her away. If he does call her, don't speak or let her know you are there as hard as it may be. If something more has happened it might come out in that conversation.

Husband Cheating?

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