Complaint message from my son teacher! Any teacher input on this please ?

Question

My son is 11 years old his teacher reached out to me back on 1/14 stating my son was very disrespectful i obviously asked her what exactly is it that he did or say but she read it as soon as I replied back but she didn’t message me back until today 1/20 at 7:47 am but then said she didn’t remember what my son said or did. 
I did asked my son what happened and he told me that the teacher was lecturing about Martin Luther king and the teacher asked a question and he shouted out the answer saying he was murder and the teacher was mad obviously I wasn’t there to know what happened exactly he then told me everyone was shouting out the answer not just him. My son has Tourette syndrome/ ticks so sometimes i worried they think he comes of rude because of his syndrome. What gets to me is that it took the teacher a long time and for her to mention she would need to get the Dean involved I am sure she would know exactly what it is that he said or did because obviously is a big problem that she has to reach out to me also I know teacher take so much and I appreciate everything that they do but if my son has been doing disrespectful things I don’t understand why she did not tell me as soon as it happened and the reason but she doesn’t even remember so I feel a little stuck to even punish my son for something the teacher can’t even explain to me because she can’t remember.

Accepted Answer

I think her way of approaching it is inappropriate.  To let it go so many times without speaking to you, threatening the dean, but yet can't even tell you what has been said. I would be punishing my child unless I actually knew what happened.

Answer

As a teacher, disrespect is something I try to handle on my own to establish a relationship of mutual respect with the student. I wouldn’t contact a parent unless it was ongoing with no change or a major turn in behavior from a normally respectful student. However, I would call the parent to have a conversation and never involve the dean or principal unless I had been having conversations with the parent. I would also have details to share with the parent about what the behaviors were exactly because I want parents input when I contact them. I don’t just call to “tattle” or to ask the parent to discipline. I call for suggestions with the goal of the parent and I being a team. I think maybe this teacher was calling to report a change in behavior but I think they were unprofessional in how they went about it. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. Just remind your son what being respectful means and I wouldn’t look to discipline him at this point.

Answer

No way I’d be going to principal this is rubbish. Sounds like my sons teacher it’s a joke. Who doesn’t remember

Answer

Honestly, if this has been an issue as a teacher, she would have documented everything and notated with times and dates. Clearly this was not done. If a child has done something so terrible that u threatened to get the Dean involved yet u can’t remember what the child did? That does not add up. I remember things from 15 years ago that kids have done in my classroom lol. And before u go to the Head, u approach the parents and have a conference with them to see if the matter can be worked out and resolved. I don’t like that teacher. She is not doing her job appropriately. And yes, your baby is smart!! MLK was Assassinated!! Smart Cookie!💙

Answer

Im not a teacher, but the way I see it, she should’ve let you know the first time it happened. Does she know about your sons pre-existing issues? If she doesn’t, then maybe set up a meeting with her and a third party (maybe the nurse or principal) and talk about your child’s needs. You can always send an email, and I would keep that screenshot. I like record keeping because you never know when those emails or texts will come in handy.

Answer

this teacher handled this very poorly. she should have either spent the time to document the concerns and made a conference call or not have wasted both your times

Answer

I'm a teacher. Sometimes in the moment kids can be super disrespectful and it is a little mind boggling and it's hard to remember exactly what was said. I however wouldn't go to the parent or dean unless I remembered what was said. Does the teacher know he has tourettes? I would be less inclined to go to the dean or parent if I knew tourettes contributed to the behavior (not sure if they are related) Just talk with your son and hopefully it doesn't happen again. Ask the teacher to write down what he says next time if he is disrespectful.

Answer

As a teacher I generally wouldn’t go to the parents in the first instance. I’d speak to the child about it and let them know that if it continued I would be speaking to their parents. I wouldn’t contact the parent if I didn’t have all of the information though. 
If the behaviour continued I would speak to the parents and discuss any changes to their environment at home or if the parent had noticed anything too, especially if it’s out of character for the child. If nothing stood out then I would discuss the next steps which it seems in this case would be to get in touch with the dean.
The fact that the teacher read the message but didn’t reply for a week is very unprofessional in my eyes.

Answer

Honestly if she's threatening the dean she should know what has been said since it has supposedly happened multiple times. Since she can't remember one thing I'd be going to the school and talking to the dean myself cause this isn't professional or appropriate. She should have contacted you the second time it happened and she should have some sort of note/record of what was supposedly done or said.

Answer

If the child said anything disrepectful comments to a teacher. Usually the teacher should write it that day when it is still fresh. The teacher needs written proof in order to get dean involved in whatever situation it is. Without proof it is hard to believe any side of story is true or not. If you feel you need to find out what is going on you should talk to your child first and then talk to that teacher to solve the problem. As a teacher and a parent, you should talk to your child first ao your child can tell you their side of story. :). Hope evrything is nothing serious :)

Complaint message from my son teacher! Any teacher input on this please ?

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