Really emotional

So I have been trying to conceive since I lost my baby boy 1-13-17 I am 20 turning 21 this year. It’s been three years TTC. Honestly if it doesn’t work this month I’m gonna give up I’m 6DPO. But I just I have faith and than I loose it I’m just I’m scared but excited to see what comes but terrified to get a negative. Idk how to word it my miscarriage was traumatic I was young and it wasn’t the best situation I want my rainbow baby so bad what can I do to just stay level headed I should say