hii everyone, hope you’re doing well💕

i am very very insecure, ever since i was a child. have dealt with depression since i was eleven and just really have a hard time not hating myself. most of the time i truly believe i’m unlovable, a burden to everyone i love or even just met, and especially considering how big of a fan i am of romance novels (and erotica ngl lol) it’s just tough to not be confident or brave enough to go out on dates… never been in a relationship or done anything other than kissing for like 5min max😅 i download dating apps and delete them in one day, they make me so anxious. my friends tell me i’m amazing, anyone would love to me with me but i know myself and know it would never be the case.

anyway, i’m crying rn because this is really a big issue in my life (but also pms lol). i have weekly therapy sessions since i was 14 (am 20) now but it’s days like these, after leaving university and coming home to no one and feeling alone, that just break me.

sorry for the long post but i would really like to know if any of you deal with this as well and/or have any advice on how to manage these feelings on the short term..

really hope this isn’t the wrong place to post this, could use some self-care i guess lol. also, wishing you a wonderful weekend and a great valentines day - even if you’re single too :)💖

[i should also probably mention that calling/texting my therapist isn’t an option most of the time, bc i moved to another country and the time difference is a bit bad.]