UPDATED Two days in and she's ruining our marriage already.

UPDATES :

GUYS. This woman must be either extremely mentally ill or she is has a vendetta and she is trying something. I'm to scared to even leave my pets with her, I don't know the extremes she'll go to.

I posted separately but I see this one has more traction. Ya'll, she is living in the garage now like some sort of troll. But let me tell you how it got to this stage.

Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night were all fine. I guess, considering my home was starting to look extremely tacky with her weird ornaments everywhere. Monday she had to go to the doctor where she was diagnosed with early stage cancer and she has to have an operation. She came back and tells me, "I'm going to have to sit on your neck until at least the op". This is only happening early March, then there's still the recovery. I got angry because she was dictating the terms of her visit now. And she is irritating, she is up and down and up and down and up and down and talking to the animals at every single opportunity. Our one cat refuses to come into the house with her here and all she says is "I'm not going to kiss his ass for him to like me". I couldn't care less if he likes you, I care if he's comfortable in his home.

Tuesday I find a retirement place for her because frankly, we are not the best place. It's hard, she is going to need medical care... So I had to go to a talk Tuesday night so I tell my husband please talk to her then. I get to the talk 15 minutes away and all hell broke lose already. My husband was trying to explain why I was uncomfortable with her in the house and she lost her mind. My husband tells me she told him something I supposedly did which I knew was a lie and I told him as such.

After the talk I phone him and he's begging me to let his mom stay and I'm begging him to make her leave. While I am fuming that this woman is now lying about me in my own home, turns out she legit snuck into our room (we have a small passage that's part of our room), snuck in to eavesdrop and then asked my husband why was I shouting at him.

Wednesday I told my husband I'm ignoring her. She can live here but she burnt her last bridge. So that's what I did and my husband phones me panicked asking what's happening here. I tell him I'm working, what's wrong. No, his mother phoned him crying and crying because I didn't greet her. Cry me a river. She spent months ignoring my greeting her on a daily basis many years ago, I couldn't care less if she's hurt now.

So then the woman decides to spend the day MOVING INTO THE GARAGE. She locked the door, threw the keys in and spent the rest of the day there. I phone my husband and tell him I'm going to book her into a hotel. He asks me to wait.

He came home and just burst into tears over this situation. Told me that the poor woman is 70, her partner died last year, most of her kids don't talk to her (no surprise) and he just has to do right by her. Begs me. Cries, so I wife up and say fine but I want PROPER boundaries and expectations put into place this time. He goes and talks to his mom, goes to cry at her.... And she goes off at him in that state. Tells him to stop collecting recyclables for the less fortune because charity starts at home. She says I'm holding a grudge (I really wasn't until she decided to lie again). I'm not being compassionate to her health. Says she's angry at us that we didn't help her unpack her boxes. Tells him I'm treating her terribly. Asks if my being civil was just an act. Says she bets I wish she was dead. And refuses to come out the garage.

So I pack my stuff and I go to my mom's. I tell my husband if that's what it takes to get her in, I'll go. So I do. I go cry at my mom's house and my husband tells me she STILL won't come out the garage so I may as well come home. She spent the whole night in there. This morning he begs her to come in, she refuses but she at least takes a set of keys to come in.

And we will talk tonight. Thursday night.

Original:

Against my common sense, I agreed to have my mother in law stay here for a week. And it's only been two days and things are already ruined.

My husband said she won't get in the way, they'll go look for places, etc.

This woman has been cleaning none stop (and using bleach on the floors which is a HUGE no no when you have birds). She has rearranged our kitchen. She has hung curtains. She let our one bird out his cage without closing the door. She fed our one dog chicken skin with a Portuguese chicken spice on it. She's putting up weird ornaments on our shelves. Our one cat is petrified of her and doesn't even want to come in the house because of her and all she says is "I'm not going to kiss his ass for him to like me", my poor cat has been hiding under the bed for days. She goes against everything I say (for example my husband is gaining weight and always complains about it so Saturday we got Chinese and the portions were huge so I said we can have the rest for breakfast, he doesn't need to eat the entire thing (especially considering we had a late lunch only three hours prior. She turns round and tells him to finish his food and he can have the rest if hers). Just as an example.

Not to mention that I feel incredibly uncomfortable with her around, due to the way we've been treated by her in the past. She is toxic AF.

I tell my husband tonight that he has to take her moving out seriously, please. He got angry at me because she's old and ailing and now has to go to specialists tomorrow because something was picked up on an MRI. I'm like, sorry for all that but an agreement is an agreement. It's not fair for the entire household to be displaced for one person who doesn't even live here.

What does my husband do? Completely disregard my feelings, complains how stressed he is about the situation, says he wishes he could hit by a bus so he doesn't have to worry about anyone, calls me a bitch because how dare I expect him to ask her to leave so soon, etc.

This was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, conceding to this.