36 weeks pregnant with big baby!

I’m 36 weeks pregnant with a big baby and went to see the consultant this week as I’m due for a c-section. (My previous baby’s delivery didn’t go to plan and I was rushed into theatre immediately afterwards and have been warned another natural delivery could result in full incontestable for the rest of my life!) Anyway, everything was going fine until they have decided that my baby’s torso is slightly larger in size than ‘should’ be at this stage. This doesn’t worry us as myself and my husband are very tall anyway and this was also the case with our daughter previously. The consultant even said the size of the baby is consistent to that of our first however she wanted me to test my sugar levels to check I hadn’t developed gestational diabetes just in case. Anyway we left not really realising what that meant and somehow feeling like a bad mum for eating something wrong (even though I am very careful with what I eat - always have been)

The diabetic nurse telephoned today with instructions for me to carry out 4xdaily needle prick tests which will be recorded electronically via a home devise and sent to the hospital!! However, I have a complete fobia of needles and have spent much of this evening in foods of years feeling very stressed and at the thought of sticking a needle in my own finger. And so the thought of doing this 4x daily is absolutely making stressing me out and I’m sobbing huge tears as I write this!

IlNo one has shown me how to use this kit or explained anything about Gestational diabetes to me so I feel like a terrible mum who’s eaten something wrong but no idea what! I know I need to eat but now feel frightened of food! Sorry for the long post but I’m feeling very desperate and in a bad state.