Did I handle this wrong ?

Question

I took my toddler (3) to the library today and he was going a craft. It was a group of parents and kids. He started acting up and acting crazy with the scissors and chopping his project and I calmly told him he needed to stop and showed him how to do it. He got mad and started throwing his papers on the floor. I told him he needed to pick them up and if he didn't listen he would have to leave. He started whining and grabbing at the scissors again so I picked up his things and told him we are leaving. He started screaming and I picked him up and left. As I was leaving a few parents and grandparents near the door started saying 'awh poor thing mean mommy making you leave '. I was stunned. I just kept walking because it was extremely embarrassing. I hear them talking about us as we left.  
As I wrong ? How should I have handled it ? I feel like I never do anything right people always talk shit and I can't understand what I'm doing wrong. This has happened before when I was out in public and he was crying and being bratty about not getting a really expensive toy so I told him if he didn't behave he would t get any and he kept acting like a brat so he didn't get it and people looked at me like I was a monster when i left the store.

Accepted Answer

You did exactly the right thing! Ignore the rude judgy people. That's how your son will learn how he needs to behave and that you follow through on things that you say. Good on you for not backing down! It's the parents that give in that cause the problems.

Answer

That’s what I do. If my kids can’t handle a situation then I remove them from that situation. At the library I would take him outside or to the car and let him cry/scream/whatever away from others and when the big emotions are out we’d talk about what made him so upset and what an appropriate reaction would’ve been. Then if he wanted to we’d go back in and continue with our craft.
It was shitty of those parents to say those things and judge you like that. And kinda weird, who the heck wants to craft at the library with a tantruming toddler? Like that’s very normal behavior and I’d never be rude about it, but I’m not going to complain when the parent removes them lol

Answer

I would absolutely applaud a parent like u. Can’t stand it when kids r playing up and all their parents do is pander to them. Ur teaching ur child essential life lessons, that certain behaviour isn’t acceptable and that’s a good thing. Ignore the ppl who commented.

Answer

I would have done the same thing. Kids can’t act up and expect there not to be consequences.

Answer

I wouldn't say wrong, but could use improvement? I'm no expert as our son is almost 3 himself, but I have learned doing arts and crafts with him I really need to let go of what the craft is 'supposed to be' and let him explore the activity and the new tools. If he wants to cut a craft into confetti he's really practicing fine motor skills working with the gradually smaller pieces of paper, and exploring how scissors work. I wouldn't have corrected him unless he was trying to cut up someone else's work or trying to cut someone else. And if that was the case I would redirect him to his activity. 
Kids rarely, if ever, do anything 'properly' the first time and I've had so much more success with letting my son follow his own creative path with art projects and crafts. 
As far as him throwing a small tantrum over you correcting him, he's 3 and isn't fully aware or able to regulate his own emotions yet, so he can't really tell you how he's feeling. I might have stopped the project, talked to him at his level and in a calm voice about how he's feeling frustrated that the scissors aren't doing what he wants them to do, then ask him how I can help him figure them out. Then I'd enable him to return to the project and try again. 
Thats my style of parenting and what's worked for me.

Answer

I think you need to get to the root of what is upsetting him at that point and communicate with him instead of jumping to a punishment. Toddlers dont have the emotional regulation that adults so maybe he was frustrated with his art project and instead of deescalating him and helping him work through his emotions, jumping to a punishment is only going to make his tantrum worse.

Answer

I think is hard for anyone to really be able to say if you handled it correctly or not because we don't know your child, the extent of their language capabilities, or if they have any delays. For instance, leaving would be the right call for me with my 5 year old, who is fully language capable and able to communicate his frustrations in healthy ways. 
But leaving would be the wrong call with my 3 year old, who has level 3 autism, is nonverbal, on the level of an 8-10 month old with his receptive language skills, and who can't express his frustrations in words. Luckily for me, he is not prone to meltdowns and is very happy and carefree but if he is extremely frustrated with something, he can't say that and right now, until he progresses further in language abilities, the only way he knows how to express frustrations is to cry or melt down. For him, the right call would be taking a little walk outside for a minute to have a break away from what is frustrating him and try again when he's had a few minutes to calm down.
What I can tell you is every person who made comments in front of your child, undermining you, was 100% in the wrong no matter the situation. You should never be undermind or made to be the bad guy in front of your child. There's a difference in taking someone aside away from the child and making you look mean for no reason in front of your child.

Answer

No you handled it perfectly and are raising your son to be respectful! Their kids are gonna be brats if they let them act out and not do anything about it to correct their behavior! Dont listen to them mama you are raising your son great and you handled it 100% perfectly!

Answer

I think you handled it how you wanted to and other people need to mind their business . You can not be worried about what other people think who cares . The world is full of people who think they know better then you . Got to learn to ignore them .

Answer

The people saying you were a mean mommy we’re in the wrong. It’s up to you to determine what is acceptable behavior and what is not.
But, consider for next time, 3 year olds don’t have great control over scissors and are not going to be interested in an organized activity for very long. He probably found it way more fun to experiment with cutting the paper than making the craft the way it was “supposed” to look and that’s developmentally appropriate. If he were a little older and messing around just to be defiant then yeah, I’d say he’d need to be removed from craft time.

Did I handle this wrong ?

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