*HUGE RANT IM SORRY BUT I NEED HELP*

Ok y’all, I seriously need your help. My bff & I have been friends for 7yrs (we’re both turning 21 this year & don’t yet have driving licenses that permit us to drive on our own yet. We’re just on our L’s so that’s why our parents are heavily involved with driving when you read further down) & ofc like any relationship, there have been ups & downs since we all have flaws. The problem is that I feel like she’s been abusing my friendship for a while now & I’m just so tired & at my last straw. When it comes to our plans, she has a history of standing me up, cancelling last second, running hrs late or simply just stranding me at a random location instead of giving me a 5min lift to my house because it was an “inconvenience” to her even though it’s on her way. I know these can all be seen as red flags & others wouldn’t put up with this behaviour but the truth is that I’m so use it. I’ve been dealing with this unreliability for 7yrs & it’s like its normal & I just expect a dilemma to occur every time we meet up (which always happens anyways)

BUT the issue now is that I’ve invited her to come travelling with me out of state for a week & a half. (I know, not the smartest move, given her history with plans) We’re leaving in a couple days & we’ve had 2 months notice for this trip. At the beginning of this week she told me how all of a sudden she’s gotten terribly sick. (surprise, surprise) At this point I was expecting her to just cancel on me like she always does & I’ll be travelling on my own, which I’m okay with but surprisingly that didn’t happen. Then yesterday she decided to change the plans & tell me that her mum is going to tag along & that we need to change our tickets, hotel etc etc to accommodate to her mother which made me hella stressed & overwhelmed since we’re due to depart in just a few days (I’m the type of person who sets out a mapped plan & sticks to it & is very organised to a T) so this messed me up big time. But then she changes the plan again & says her mother is no longer coming with us.

But then, dilemma number 3, she tells me her health is declining badly & that she needs to go in for surgery for an iron infusion & she needs to get something implanted/placed on her heart to monitor it. Obviously I’m worried for her well-being & stressed & overwhelmed even more so I tell her she doesn’t need to come on this trip if it’s just going to harm her health even more. BUT THEN SHE LITERALLY FLIPS THIS ON ME & SAYS THAT “I DONT WANT HER TO COME” (WHICH ISNT TRUE) & THAT IM CAUSING HER SM STRESS BECAUSE SHES BEEN WORKING OVERTIME SO SHE CAN FUND FOR THIS TRIP + SHE NEEDS TO STUDY BUT SHES FALLING BEHIND “BECAUSE OF ME” BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO GET FUNDS FOR THIS HOLIDAY. so yes, as you can see, this triggered me cause I’ve never forced her to come with me, just simply INVITED her but she’s making it seem like I’m putting her through sm stress & anxiety which id never want to put her through, so again, I told her “don’t come if this trip is going to harm you mentally & physically cause that’s the last thing I want for you” but nah man she continued having a go at me & sent me a voice msg just absolutely sobbing saying IM having a go at her?? Like what? Maybe she took what I said the wrong way but I’m simply just saying to put her health first & not come on this trip if it’s going to harm her, which I repeated back to her & made sure she understood what I’m saying since all I’m saying is that I want her to put her health first.

God, I need a moment to breathe 😮‍💨

Okay, now dilemma number 4 which occurred just a couple hrs ago. So the plan has always been since the very beginning (2 months ago) that my father is going to drop me off at her place the night before we depart (which is tomorrow) so we can catch the plane together the next day since it’s kinda early (7am so we need to be at the airport @5:30am) & since we’re departing on a weekday, I unfortunately don’t have access to my dad just dropping me off to the airport since he has to go to work at 4am, otherwise I can catch 2hr transport to the airport which isn’t the biggest deal & I have no problem doing it’s just not as convenient. But anyways, she offered this idea & we stuck to it this whole time until just a couple hrs ago. She no longer wants me to come to her place as she said it’d be an “inconvenience” so what she wants me to do is ask my dad to drop me all the way to the airport on the day/morning we depart before he goes to work which would be around 4am & I’m sorry but I just thought it was unfair to ask of this for my dad. He’s already tired & has to wake up hella early & now she just expects him to run around for me at 4AM & create a huge inconvenience for him?? I literally feel so sorry for him, he doesn’t deserve this. So I told her how inconvenient this is for my dad & she told me “why can’t he just make this sacrifice? It would be annoying if he’s bothered by this” like wtffff??? Sorry what?? My dad & I have made constant sacrifices for this girl & her family during this whole friendship & have gone above & beyond just to fill her needs & accomodate to her since the world APPARENTLY revolves around her. But this one time I need her just for a lift to the SAME location we’re BOTH going to, she can’t even do because it’s an “inconvenience” to her?? At this point I shouldn’t be so surprised cause for any favour I’ve asked of her (which has always just been for lifts that are literally on her way like rn) she always bails on me & leaves me stranded on my own & says it’s an “inconvenience” but atm I’m very hormonal cause I’m PMSing so this hurt like a bitch. I’m literally so disappointed that I CRIED & I haven’t stopped crying since before yesterday (embarrassing ik) cause I was so disappointed & annoyed with her words & actions. Idk what to do. But yes, my dad is in fact going to drive me at 4am on the day we depart. 🙄

I could go on & on about all the times she’s disappointed me like this or just made a big inconvenience just to fulfill her own needs but I won’t. There’s no point. I’m so tired y’all & I think this was the absolute last straw for me because I was hurt by the way she was talking about my dad to me. Sure, talk crap about me & abuse me but the moment you disrespect my family, you’re no longer accepted into my life. Ik this may sound harsh but it’s just the fact that my family (my dad especially) has done so sooo much for her & she’s out here disrespecting him. I don’t find that fair at all especially cause he’s happily driven her hoursss back home (we live 2hrs apart) or stayed up late even if he has work the next day just for her but any time I’ve needed her or her mum to do something small for me (like drive me <10mins to their train station) they completely bail on me & leave me stranded on my own in a random unsafe location. (I had a man follow me one time try kidnap me) Mind you, on top of all this, I’m the one who’s always travelling 2hrs on transport to visit her & she has not ONCE travelled to see me during our whole 7yrs of friendship (because apparently her mum won’t let her travel to me even though shes currently letting her travel out of state without a family member or adult??) so that’s why it hurts me whenever she can’t even give me a small lift when I’m constantly travelling HOURS for her EVEN if we only end up seeing each other for literally 15MINS because she has to go “somewhere else.” 🤦‍♀️

I’m so done guys. I literally don’t know what to do. I know this friendship is no longer becoming healthy & I’m just getting used & abused but I just don’t know how to cut her off specifically. I have had to cut off toxic ppl in the past that I’ve simply blocked & never spoke to again but it’s just the fact that her & I have 7yrs of friendship & we’ve gone thru a lot together. Her dad & I are literally best friends as well so I’m so sad to lose that connection & just her family in general (her nonna & I love each other sm as well gahh 😞) cause they’ve literally adopted me into their fam like their own daughter so aaaahhhh 😫 fr would miss them sm.

Like besides this toxic behaviour, we are perfect together & have the best memories so idk what to do. Should I just keep being her friend? Do I cut her off slowly? What do I do? I’m scared to lose her since she’s my ONLY 1 friend but ik I’d rather be alone then have a friend that’s just abusing my loyalty etc. so at the same time even though it’s scary, I’m also ready to close this chapter because it’s just affecting my mental state too much. Help? Am I being over dramatic? Am I making the wrong move? Just any help pleaseeee 🥺🙏🏼