Is it wrong to feel like this

So long story short. Had a baby girl in 2010. Had 2 MC back to back in 2015, come to find out hubby mobility was low they wanted me to go through IVF and we refused. So doing research I found fertaliade for men and hubby started taking it well In 2019 I finally got pregnant, and I was overly joyed and gave birth to my son in March 2020.

Well here we are 2022. My son is going to be 2 soon my daughter will be 12 in a couple of months. We are not trying, he is not taking fertaliade and my last period was January 24. I honestly think that I'm pregnant again but this time I'm not happy about it. I didn't think it would happen after everything we have been through.. am I a horrible person to not be happy if I am.. I don't believe in abortions. If I am, I'm keeping this baby. I guess God has other plans for me