Need to know what you ladies think

Ladies I need your opinion this is a bit of a long one. So my brother is getting married in June this year. His bride to be asked us to be in the wedding we said yes. When we said yes we assumed she would be paying for the majority of the stuff since it being her wedding. She started out with telling us we would be paying for our own dresses that’s fine. But she picked the dresses, told us where to get them so she got a discount on her dress. Told us the color everything she picked out. $200 a piece for the dress. Then She planned a bachelorette party but had her friend be the front for her planning. So my sister and I agreed we would go. Then she said it was going to be out of town and that we would be paying for our own rooms. That’s fine but then on top of that her friend said we would be paying for our rooms and the brides room which was over $300 at that point I said I can’t afford it and wasn’t going to go. My sister still said she would go her boyfriend is helping her pay her basic bills but was going to lend her money to go. Then the brides friend says well now we are going to go to shows that are $80 a ticket plus cover the brides ticket. Plus we would be paying for all the food, shopping, gas there and back which it’s over 2 hours away. And my sister has to share custody of her sons with her ex so this will be on her weekend. After all that added up then the bride says now the dresses we bought at full length have to be altered to tea length. The alterations are $100 a piece plus she wants my sister to buy my nieces dress. And she bought shoes for Her wedding and wants us to pay her back for them $50 a piece in shoes we had no say in or asked for. After that my sister said it’s too expensive she’s willing to be in the wedding and pay for the dresses but she can’t afford to go on the trip and needs to get her dress altered somewhere else. Which our grandma agreed to alter it. My mom knows what’s been going on and how we are frustrated. The bride instead of taking it up with my sister is pissed off at her calls my brother to call my mom and tell her that she’s mad at my sister for bailing on the bachelorette party. My mom explained to him like my sister did to the bride she can’t afford it. Now she’s trying to act like my sister is in the wrong for this. I’m pissed and she’s pissed because we feel like she should pay for something. She wants us to pay for all of the hair and everything too. Plus asked her parents to pay for half the wedding which they agreed to then asked my parents to pay the other half which they said no and said they would pay the flowers. On top of all this it’s not like they don’t have money they have taken 3 vacations already this year and just remodeled their house. I feel like we’re not in the wrong here about being angry she isn’t paying for anything for the bridesmaids and what she is we have to pay her back for. I get it’s her day but she’s taking it really far