It’s been a hard 8 years, there have been so many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep, I’ve got to a point I don’t enjoy sex anymore because “our sex isn’t working” I’ve let myself go, because I’ve been so depressed but recently I’ve just woken up and I literally decided I don’t want to keep trying anymore. I feel like the last 8 years have taken over my life , I feel like I spent everyday just trying to have a baby to make life different to the way it is now , instead of living life I’ve wasted so much time and energy on something that I couldn’t control and I regret that.

Don’t get me wrong I’m in tears writing this and I’ll always feel like a part of us is missing but I feel almost relieved, instead of hoping my period doesn’t and being sad when it does I’m just going to know it is going to come and that’s it there isn’t going to be any feeling of failure from me. I don’t even know who Iam anymore besides a woman who’s spent all of her adult life trying to get pregnant and I don’t even know how to learn who Iam … infertility really does take over your life