‼️ Tw: molestation ‼️

I just need to vent. I'm struggling mentally.

I'm 28 and 12 weeks postpartum. I have an almost 6 year old daughter as well!

After my first, I suffered from severe ppd. At the time, I didn't know that's what it was. No crazy nightmares or anything.

This go around, I, thankfully, haven't had it! I did, however, start having this weird dream that just kept reoccurring. And it would start and stop in the same place. Everytime, it ended with me seeing my biological uncle's face & seeing & feeling his hand on me. It started when I was about 30 weeks pregnant but has gotten more frequent within the past month. I wake up sweating & sometimes full on crying.

I decided to discuss it with my mom. And it in fact wasn't a dream but a memory that for whatever reason is coming to me now. My mom said she had a gut feeling that it was happening but I was too young to express what was happening. She started keeping him away & we would only see him a few times throughout the year. It's not abnormal for me to remember things from such a young age. I have a really good memory which is why this is such a shock for me.

I'm seriously struggling. I can't help but just want to stay in bed & ignore the world. I was around 1 when it happened. & I don't think it stopped then. I remember other incidents where he acted strange around me and was too young to understand fully. It's so disgusting to me. But definitely makes me understand why I always felt distanced from him emotionally.