This is a bit of a long story.

Thanks to those who read and share their motherly wisdom.

So, we’ve moved a lot throughout our life and recently made a move further than we ever have before and the country away. Luckily, we already had some friends living here from which we are very close with, like one of the husbands was in our wedding party, and his wife and I are very good friends I would consider her one of my best friends actually.

Now this is where things feel tricky for me, Back home our friend group was large and full of parents with 1 to 4 young children (under six, with the exception of my sister has a 12 eight and two year old.)

My husband and I have always been excited to be parents, we just had some issues conceiving so it took us a few years. We are both positive people and know parenting and childbirth is a challenge but that isn’t what we focus on, because we know it’s so much more than that and frankly we are just naturally optimistic people. So our friend group back home is similar. We are very playful people, our get together‘s are full of laughs, and each and everyone of my friends have had unique experiences birthing their children of course yet all of them, even one who had to have horizontal episiotomy😩 view their birthing experiences as something positive and they laugh with their children every day and make light of the hard parts. And I’m not just saying that because that’s the side of their lives that I see, I am very close with my friends and I know their struggles deeply and that raising a family isn’t always all rainbows and butterflies.

Flash forward to today, I am a couple weeks shy of having lived in our new country with our same old friends but different friend group for a year exactly, I am also 33 weeks pregnant. Our friends here also have young children some single child families one has a son and a daughter aged four and one. The vibe here around parenting is just so much different. In fact if these were the only examples of young parents in my life, and I was anticipating our life to look anything like the lives of my parent friends here I don’t know if he would be so enthusiastic about starting a family at all. Everything from the women’s experience with pregnancy and childbirth, to their husbands perspective on their wives experiences, to the “inconveniences “that come with parenting young children… None of it is nearly as fun or positive of a topic or experience as it has always been with my sister and our friends back home.

So, I hate to compare, but it’s literally draining being around our friends here when they are with their kids. When they are alone and we manage to do things together as adults it is still fun, but they just don’t show the fun side of parenting and I frankly I’m having an awesome pregnancy and I’m very excited for labour and childbirth and having my tiny little baby in my arms.

So I guess the point of this post, is to gain some non-biased perspective on how having children impacted your life.

Is it fun for you and your partner to be parents? Did you enjoy being pregnant or going through labor? Do you ever have regrets about having children? Like with all the time we have been spending with our family friends down here I just have to work so much harder to remain positive and maintain my own joyful optimistic perspective, like one of my friends every time I see her she reminds me about how going through labour is just as painful as getting in a severe car accident. And that’s what I need to prepare myself for post labor. Like, I get it, but I told her many times that I’m manifesting good things and educating myself on all possibilities without focussing on the fact that while I’m excited for this ordinary and extraordinary experienceThat yes, I know it’s also very hard.

I truly don’t like to even be so negative with this post 🥴 😭 cuz I love my friends and care for them deeply! But it just shocks me and I worry that maybe they’re “normal” and my expectations of joy and fun and laughing along side the struggle is unreasonable 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I’m making this post anonymous.. to hide my guilty feelings from being so negative about my friends!! But I will probably engage in comments if anyone has feedback for me!

Thank you!! ❤️