Please tell me your negative experience with an epidural

So this might sound ridiculous but hear me out. I’m not medically eligible to get an epidural because of a condition I have so I’m basically going to be forced to have a natural birth even though it’s not what I want. I already have chronic pain in my body and I’m going to have to go through the pain of childbirth with no help. I am envying every woman who can have an epidural! So I was wondering if anyone has negative stories about their epidural that might help me feel better lol.

Sorry ahead of time is this sounds ridiculous. I have no idea how to get my head around an unmedicated birth with the pain my body‘s already in!!

And edit - no I can’t get a spinal tap. Basically I’m high risk for CSF leak so nothing can go in my spine at all unless it’s considered a life saving procedure and there’s no other options.

As far as laughing gas - that is something I can try but my hospital said it’s “not something they usually offer” so I’m still trying to find out if it’s an option for me.

If I end up having to get an emergency c section I will be put under general anesthesia so I’m hoping that doesn’t happen since I’ve learned it’s high risk for the baby.