Have any of you had your child diagnosed with ASD? I’m so scared my child is on the spectrum. Not because I will love him any less, but just because of the implications with extra needs and the difficulties that he could have in his life. I’m sorry this post is so long, I guess I’m looking for either reassurance that my concerns are valid or a little “talking me down” to tell me I’m overthinking. And maybe just to know I’m not alone.

It absolutely terrifies me and I cry every time I think about it (which is a lot these days) but I just can’t ignore the symptoms anymore. It’s like I have a completely different child from 6 months ago. This was never even an inkling of a thought in my mind until recently when his behavior has completely changed. Here are some things he’s now doing that are suspicious to me:

- whisper repeating things he hears to himself. For ex. I say, we’re taking the white car today and he will repeat it back to himself in a whisper.

- Echolalia. Certain questions he will just repeat back to me, like if I ask him how his day at school was. Sometimes he’ll repeat the question back and then answer it, like I’ll ask him what color is that? And he’ll say “what color is that? Is it red?”

- doesn’t enjoy playing with other kids often. His daycare teacher noted he prefers to play alone.

- frequent, extreme tantrums over the littlest things. We have at least one tantrum a day. He pees his pants EVERY TIME he has a tantrum. He also whines non stop.

- toe walking. He walks on his toes or more on the balls of his feet a lot. Not all the time but he will. He’s been doing this for a while, so not a new thing. Brought it up at his two year well child and his ped wasn’t concerned.

- gets frustrated extremely easily

- hums and makes random noises to himself. He literally cannot sit quietly unless the tv is on.

- Not super consistent at responding to his name. It’s like sometimes he responds and instantly and other times I can’t get him to even look my direction.

- twirls his stuffed animal’s tail constantly. Not sure if this is just a comfort thing? This he’s been doing since he was a baby.

- when he was younger he used to love to spin wheels on cars, bikes, etc. now he plays with the whole thing as one unit, but is still very interested in how things are made, and their parts. He asks lots of questions about what parts of cars or certain toys are. He has high interest in vehicles and engineering type play.

- repetitive play. He likes to do certain things over and over again. Like the other day he was putting blocks on a piece of cardboard and tipping it to make them slide off. He did this probably 15 times.

- bobs his head in a silly way when chewing. This is another one I’m not sure about because he might be doing it to be silly.

- Really struggling with potty training. I know this one can be normal but he’s always picked up on things very quickly so it surprises me he’s still having multiple accidents a day.

- there are other little things too but I’m not sure he does them frequently enough to be concerned. Like hand flapping I’ve seen him so maybe a handful of times, picking at his fingernails occasionally, lining up toys. These happen very rarely.

But then he does things that make me question myself. Like he can read emotions on characters faces, he is extremely verbal with a huge vocabulary and has always met his milestones, he follows directions pretty well when he wants to, he points to things and looks when we we point at something, he does pretty well with a varied schedule, he looks to us when he experiences something new to see how we react, he plays make believe and pretend (like last night his sippy cup was a vacuum 😂).

I talked to a behavioral health specialist at his pediatricians office who said he’s likely just experiencing big emotions after some major transitions. We’ve moved to a new city, a new house, he started a new daycare, he moved to a big bed from the crib, he’s potty training, we took away his pacifiers, and I’m having a baby in a month. My husband and I have been a little more on edge with each other too which I’m sure doesn’t help. But she also shrugged off my most major concern, which is the whispering and echolalia. Do I just leave it and give it time to see if these things resolve themselves, or do I seek a different opinion? Maybe I’m rushing into it because most of these things are new and have sprung up during this big transition time. My husband is so frustrated with me and thinks I’m overreacting, and says he emotionally can’t handle me being so concerned about this. I just don’t know what to do. I’m working myself up so much over it.