Hating the body changes!!!

I dont wanna offend anyone with this post, i keep hearing how it’s such a blessing to be pregnant and i know… since I experienced 4 losses before this baby. But I absolutely hate seeing my body change and the number go up on the scale! I will sound so shallow for this, but as someone who was obese and had to be very disciplined for the past 3 years with food and exercise and i lost 40+ kilos its sooo hard not to feel depressed at this stage. I don’t even wanna leave the house anymore.