Me and my ex were actually alright till yesturday.

Though my patients were running out a couple of weeks ago.

We've been more than civil for a year till now.

There's so many stories and little bits that grind.

But over all two weeks ago he went and picked his 12yo up from London and took her to his house for the school holidays. This had been planned for months.

He picked her up and called me to ask if I could have the next day overnight cause he wanted to spend some time with his GF.

I said to him "it's her first full day with you and you've already made plans with someone else?".

He said "yeah". Like she could nt see the issue with that.

I'm not going to turn her away, she's my daughters half sister and I thought it would be nice. But that's besides the point.

His daughter was sick of being stuck in his flat.

So I paid for us all to go swimming and the zoo the following week.

His 12yo is autistic and decided to take her to the pub 12pm till 10pm.

And he's been making out he's skint all this time and there he is in the pub absolutely wasted.

Tuesday nights are my pool nights 🎱 so my daughter was with my parents.

So happends the pub my ex in was our opponents that night and the landlord told me that he's smashed and for the safety of the child they're keeping them there even though it's against his licence past a 5pm.

Turns out the only option my ex gave his daughter was walk 5 miles in the rain cause he's so "skint". 😡

But the landlord told me they'd pay for him to go but he refused.

So I left pool early and went to the pub he was at.

I said drink up we're going NOW.

We got the bus and he was starting fights with people that just walked by and ignored him.

I was fuming.

I made the mistake of letting his daughter go home with him at first.

But on the short walk home, I thought about it and called him.

I said "does xxxx want to come to my house.".

He said no, but I asked him to ask her and she wanted to come to mine.

He made her feel really bad about it.

She had two meltdowns at the pub and locked herself in the bathroom.

I was capable of looking after her if she needed me through the night. I don't think she understands really why I did it. He kept telling her he was sober and not drunk. But as someone that's seen him that way. It's one of the drunkest I've seen him. 8 pints, 5 alcopops that he shots. 3 actual shots and 2 jager bombs. That's what he told me, but I can't help but feel if that's what he was willing to admit to then he might even of had more.

This was when I first really got my back up with him.

The next day I tried to explain is social services got wind of what he had done it would effect both children, but he really didn't care. It was so dismissive like he'd done nothing wrong. I thought maybe he knows he's done wrong and is putting on an act.

So his daughter went home last weekend and it was his turn to have out daughter. He only has her every other weekend.

She turned 3 last weekend. He didn't get her a present but he said on pay day he'll take her out and get her something.

Well yesturday was pay day....

I asked him what time he was coming and he said he can't have because he's skint. He'll only have her if I give him £30??!!

He's played me with this before. There was a time where he was really stuck for money and I said I wouldn't send him money unless he showed me where its gone.

And there's was all the logs of me sending him money, him stashing it in a "child's" pot and then him withdrawing it followed by him spending the money at the pub. There in black and white.

So when he said he's skint and can have his daughter cause he can't feed her, I send her with food for her and only her.

But he wasn't having it, he wanted £30 for the weekend or he's taking me to court for full custody so he can get the money for her.

I get £21.80 from the gov for our daughter a week.

There was no tiptoeing around the fact he wanted the money, it was direct and straight to the point about what he wanted.

I said something along the lines of "do you even know what you're saying? You won't have your daughter unless I pay you and you want her full time so you can get money?". He agreed that's exactly what he wants.

I still can't believe how blunt he was about it, he didn't try to accuse me of anything that may be a legitimate reason to have her full time?

He works illigally aswell, cash in hand to avoid tax and is on benifits.

I've never once asked for child maintenance either, it's pointless. For along as he's not working I'd only get £7 a week if that. I never thought it was worth doing it because he'd dispose me for it as he had done his other daughters mum. He stopped working in the first place so he didn't have to pay the debt through CSA and only had to give her the bare minimum.

I do think the system can rip dad's off and make them poor, when we was working they'd take over half his wages to make up for the backlog. But I suppose it is what he owes. Its just so malicious what he does.

I know he won't take me to court, nothing would stand and he doesn't have the funds to do so.

I'm not botherd that he can't have her this weekend, but there's definitely got to be something going off in his life where he's basically threatening me for money and essentially using our "child as a weapon" 🤮 (I hate that saying).

I has a history with cocaine, but I don't know what he gets up to anymore.

Another thing that grinds me is that he's telling his friends that he has her more than me!

While it does annoy me, thankfully I have Google maps and I take photos nearly everyday so I'm covered for most things he can throw at me.

As angry as I am right now at him, I'm sad.

That's the final straw for me threatening court, but we had such a great parenting relationship even if he did piss me off at times.

Our daughter was happy to go see her dad.

I don't know how things are going to play out, I hope he gets his 💩 togeather and things work out. But it's too many years of this scrounging business