He told me I looked old.... I don't feel beautiful

Anyone who doesn't know our story. I married my husband at 17 because I got pregnant. I was kicked out so his family had me love on a ranch while he stayed at the farm and worked. His step brother was severally abusing and raping him and I didn't know... No one did. He was beat and tortured and raped daily for 3 years and has a permanent reminder because his step brother branded his initials in my husband's thigh. That was 4 years ago and it left my husband with severe depression and self harm and suicidal thoughts.... He's known as the crazy man here because he's always getting dragged to mental hospitals for trying to kill himself. Our 7 year old daughter has seen him... It's why we are moving to somewhere nobody knows us and is less judgmental. Since starting EMDR therapy he's having better days... Long while ago I went to see his step brother. He's serving a 17 year sentence. He needed to know what he did to my family.... I remember he smirked and said I looked old. I look at our wedding picture and at me now.... I'm 25 with gray hairs.... I do look old. I don't feel beautiful. Me and my husband are in a sexless marriage for 4 years and I honestly didn't even realize it still several months ago. I'm not bothered and want him to be ready.... But I do wonder if I would feel beautiful if he wanted me sexually... Idk... I see glimpses of who my husband use to be.... When will I see even a glimpse of who I once was?... When will we smile like in our wedding photo... I look and know I'm no longer beautiful...