My name is Adrian. I recently got my divorced finalized but this post has nothing to do with her. Now in this I'm gonna mention some slurs I have said in the past. I'm not like that anymore I swear but it ads to why I'm confused.... I have a best female friend named Katy and she has a brother named Levi. Levi is pansexual. I've known him and Katy since high school and Levi is extremely open in his flirting and being sexual. He would always call me babe and make jokes about blowing me. I will admit.... I called him a fag more times than I'm willing to admit and I'm not proud of it. I hated him. Not even because of the flirting but because I thought the idea of him liking boys was disgusting.... Weird thing was I still wanted his attention. And seeing him acting gay yo other guys angered me. We eventually became friends. His flirting never stopped though but I started to mind it less and less because he was obviously joking. He would make jokes about how he should just blow me. I no longer use gay slurs now. Wednesday Levi bought me a cake to drink and celebrate officially being a single man. Honestly my divorce doesn't bother as much as I feel it should..... It did when I was first served papers but those feelings went away. Me and Levi got shit faced together and for some reason I started word vomiting. I told him I loved him and he said "I love you too bro". I say "No I'm in love with you. I love you I love you! I've always loved you" And kissed him. He kissed back and we made out and it lead to the bed but he stopped me saying I'm just drunk and I probably won't even remember saying this and that he doesn't want this to be a regret for me so we didn't do anything.... I remember everything I said and haven't brought it up and neither has h

us have. Idk what's wrong with me .... I don't even know what to say to Levi. I'm confused...