Venting about my life

I need to vent here. Sometimes I wonder what am I doing in a relationship. Like I want to have my freedom to do whatever my heart desires. I was married before, that was fine for a while but in all honesty it wasn’t for me. I didn’t like being tied to someone else. Now I’m pregnant about to give birth next month and with the baby’s father. Well whenever he isn’t at work. Which is hardly ever. Idk if he will make it for the birth of the baby because his boss never gives him days off or let’s him talk to me. More like doesn’t give him breaks. I’m just frustrated dealing with a lot on my own and it’s beginning to be very overwhelming. I know some of you won’t understand and that’s fine. We all have opinions. I’m going to schedule a c section with my doctor soon. With that said, I’m going to just go, disappear for a few days then come back with the baby is what I’m thinking. I don’t want him to get fired or anything. The guy is missing his own probation stuff to stay out of jail because he’s running on empty. So he might get arrested I’m not sure but either way, I’m going to do this on my own. I’m lonely, bored and all I do is eat, sleep, clean, take care of my dog. I’m a loner right now and once the baby comes I’m definitely going to be running on empty bc this guy can’t do much especially if he can’t even have time off work. I feel like a single mom tbh. Idk what I’m going to do.

My phone is my best friend it feels like.