Hate my body and myself

To all those moms who bounce back immediately after having kids. You are so lucky and I’m so jealous. Im fat and so ugly now and literally hate myself. I just want to be skinny again. Going to get married in 15 days and I can’t fit into anything. I can’t even buy normal clothing without completely breaking down. I don’t even leave the house because I have nothing that fits me. Feels like a bad dream honestly.