My life feels like hell

What if this is karma. Everything seems so hard to do. Why do i deserve to live this life.! It’s so stressful I don’t want my child to be sad and stressed out. I try most of the time, sometime I don’t have energy. Why does my life have to be so complicated idk what to do. I never know what real love looks like l, unconditional love. I guess from my baby only idk. My baby has autism, I’m pregnant again but I’m obviously single Idk where my supposedly man is at. Like ive grown up watching abuse, I’ve been abused by several ppl, ive been in only two serious relationships where I definitely loved them but ended up being crushed and hurt. Like what am I supposed to do I just wanna give up so bad. Idk why anyone would want to hurt me