am I wrong?

Question

my kids dad is an otr truck driver. we didn’t want the kids in daycare so his mom watches them while I work and go to school. they are NOT morning people. but I decided to give it a shot. it was good up until a few months one morning they didn’t answer the phone.. his sister normally opens the door or answers every morning I call before I drop them to make sure they are up and i’m not late to work. well one morning I feel like they ignored me I called the sister and the mom multiple times and the sisters phone was on do not disturb so she was not getting ANY of my calls or texts which she normally doesn’t have me on DND. their dad called and no one answered. I literally left and as soon as I got to work which I was an hour late AND ON THE VERGE OF LOSING MY JOB! they texted back. sister told me mom was downstairs on the couch and she thought she would have answered the door. mom told me she was upstairs with her daughter and no one heard the door” somebody is lien!! so I put the kids in daycare bc I cannot afford to lose my job and provide for two kids plus my household. they are PISSED at me and trying to make it seem like i’m keeping the kids from them but I need reliable ppl to watch my kids do I want them in daycare? not necessarily but I can’t trust them. it was one time but one time is to many considering I almost lost my job. I don’t think i’m wrong but does anyone else see a problem in what I did? they are disrespecting me now and also my kids father doesn’t want to help financially bc “i’m not bringing the kids to his family house” which is ridiculous and i’m doing everything by myself no help.. I don’t trust them to watch my kids anymore bc this isn’t the first they never answer the door!! not for my job but for other occasions that I asked them to watch them

Answer

I think everyone sucks here. Let me explain. You knew they weren't morning people so I wouldn't have reliable on non-morning people to be up and functioning early to watch the kids. However, knowing they aren't morning people they shouldn't have agreed to watch the kids. It puts you in a bad position with work because being late or calling out can lead to termination. You shouldn't have to lose their job because people who couldn't get up agreed to be child care providers for you. Your SO on the other hand is completely out of line and his reasoning of not helping support his children and his household is ridiculous. The children need care. Bills need to be paid. Him not wanting to contribute because his family cannot babysit is appalling. If I had to do everytbing by myself and support everything by myself I would be single. I'm sure he would be less than thrilled if you for fired because his family cannot wake up in the morning to watch the kids. Overall I don't think you're wrong and you're certainly not keeping the kids from his family. But truthfully I wouldn't have relied on them in the fist place.

Answer

If their dad doesn't want to help. He better consider if it's cheaper than child support. Also he shouldn't let his family disrespect you.

Answer

Whatever. They made their choice by not answering the door and having a system in place to be sure they were available. This is a them problem 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

No I you are not wrong. Take him to court, make him pay child support, work out a custody arrangement, and explain to the court that they need to be in daycare because his family is unreliable and you will lose your job. No court in the world would side with him. It would make it a whole lot easier supporting your children.

Answer

Firstly, if they didnt want to look after the kids, they shouldve just said that- the lying makes it so much worse. Secondly,  your partner should financially assist the kids whether or not his fam is looking after them- don't allow him to manipulate you, and it doesn't seem like you keeping the kids away from them. Thirdly, how did you almost lose your job? When they didn't pick up the phone, you should have phoned the office and say you will be late- which should be done whenever you will be late.

Answer

I understand your frustration. Putting him on child support sounds like something you don't really want. And with him being on the road I'm not sure how you would both get to court. What if you compromise? You drop them off at the daycare early when you go to work. And when the mom or sister is up and ready for kids they can go pick them up? It can be an hour later or 2. So that way you have the reliability of the day care for the morning but his family still gets to have them too. Just a thought. You are not in the wrong. But sometimes you can find a way for everyone to be happy. Good luck!!!

Answer

I mean i would see if there is a emergency daycare for days they “miss your call.” Id also change the drop off time to earlier in the day. If u have to be to work by 8 id drop them off by 6:30 or 7 and if no one answers the door u still hve a place to take them and make it to work on time. It is good for kids to bond with family. Or maybe u can do every other week. One week daycare and one week with them to save money? I dont know but I understand that losing your job isnt an option. Have u hd other infractions? Why would they fire u so fast?

Answer

While you’re not wrong, you know they aren’t morning people. You had to have known that it wouldn’t have worked out well

Answer

If you want reliable childcare, you should either hire a nanny or get them enrolled in daycare where they will be watched by professional childcare workers and not unqualified family members. I know it sounds harsh, but this is just the kind of stuff that happens when you rely on family to provide childcare for you, especially if you don’t pay them.

Answer

You almost lost your job for being late one time?

am I wrong?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey