What is love?

Question

I (24 M) and married to my wife same age we got married a little over two years ago at first when we started dating I thought she was the one she was so amazing I was just obsessed with her over the last three years I’ve kind of grown apart I still love her it just doesn’t feel the same. I started a new job a little over six months ago and I met a coworker who is going through the same situation I was she was absolutely amazing I didn’t mean to but I fell in love with her I would look forward to talking to her and just being with her we never had sex but we did go out all the time and I did kiss her I don’t know how to tell my wife that I don’t love her and that I’m in love with someone else

Answer

Just be honest with her, tell her luck this relationship isn’t working out, I’m not happy, I’m sure you’re not happy as well, the main reasons relationships do not work aside from infidelity or abuse, number one your needs are no longer being met. That goes for every level emotionally, physically, sexually, financially, spiritually, mentally, that goes for everything.￼ Number to you no longer feel supported by your partner and that goes for every level as well as helping with the house and with the kids, including your own family choosing them over the family that you created, allowing them to rule the relationship, etc. number three you no longer feel connected to your partner and that goes for every level as well. And lastly one person does the minimal while the other person does the maximum to keep the relationship going. One person is being selfish while the other is being selfless, none of which is fair to either partner. Whether you feel obligated to stay with her because of how long you’ve been together or for the sake of the kids or obligation or guilt or anything else, that’s not a reason to stay with someone, nobody’s happy living like roommates, or feeling alone in a relationship, or anything else. Nobody’s happy, and everyone knows it. Whether you choose to tell her about the other woman or not is your decision, but clearly the relationship isn’t working anymore when your partner is no longer your escape from reality but rather what you want to escape from. When another person is what you want to run to, and can’t wait to tell that person about your day, or is excited to see you, or whatever it may be, they are fulfilling your needs and your partner is not, clearly the relationship has run its course, you are no longer the same unit that you once were, you maybe outgrew each other, whatever other reason it may be. But you do need to tell her that the relationship is no longer working out, you can’t have your cake and eat it too that’s not fair to her, stringing her along or giving her false hope or Having your side piece￼￼￼. That’s not fair to her. Have an ounce of respect for her, and be honest, like I said it’s up to you if you want to tell her about the other woman or not, but you at least need to be honest with her and tell her the relationship is no longer working. And either moving in with your parents, or finding another place to sleep, it’s the right thing to do, to give her some closure, not just disappear, and not sticking around for the sake of the kids or anything else. If she asks you if there is someone else just be honest, she started out as a friend, and I realized that I wasn’t happy in the relationship with you anymore, and she was going through the same thing, and we both were each other’s shoulder to cry on, we never had sex, but we did kiss once, and I feel guilty about that, but this isn’t working out we both know it. Neither one of us are happy. She deserves the truth. You both deserve A life apart from each other,￼ you both deserve happiness, whether that is together or apart, I don’t judge anyone, your life does not affect mine, I do not lose sleep over anyone on the Internet, but it’s the right thing to do. Obviously since you have children, it’s going to get sticky, divorce, child support, alimony, custody, claiming the children on tax returns, it’s going to get sticky. But hopefully you guys are able to coparent successfully, like many people do, it may get ugly for a while, but hopefully you guys can find a common ground for the sake of the children.￼ I think you said you had children, I can’t remember. I wish you luck, I wish her luck, and I hope things get better for both of you.

Answer

You need to do it so she can move on to.  Have a talk at home about it . No sweet gestures or nothing extra it will be misleading. Have a seat tell her I need to talk and tell her

Answer

Just be straight up & tell her don’t keep her around while you are somewhat moving on LET HER MOVE TOO. She’ll probably be hurt but letting go is for the best at this point.

What is love?

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