Proposal deadline?

Question

So me and my SO have been dating for almost 2 1/2 years we live together and have been living together for almost 2 years now. we were highschool sweethearts and Im only 19 and We have talked about marriage plenty of times but he always says he wants to wait for the "perfect" time. I personally do not believe there will ever be a "perfect" time. So i told him that he has 2 years to propose to me before I end the relationship. I dont know if I was wrong for putting pressure on him like that but he just laughed like he thinks im kidding. Im not kidding but i dont want to make him feel pressured but at the same time I know that if I didnt I would be just his girlfriend forever and I dont want that im pretty oldschool and beleieve there is some sort of special connection between those couples that are married. Am i being too pushy what do you gals think?

Answer

Yeah you are being pushy. Just wait till it's the right time. There's no rush, you have the rest of your life. Your seriously gonna end a relationship because he won't propose to you straight away? I'm old school, but I'd never end my relationship with my boyfriend just because he's waiting for the right moment. Learn to be patient, what would be like in the future ? If you want children? And you have to try for years and you may take a while to become positive? Get your tubes tied...because you give up with that too? Patience.

Answer

I was with my husband did almost 4.5 year before he proposed. We agreed that it would be better to wait until we were both our of college to be engaged/married (I had one more semester to go after he proposed). I look back and I'm so happy with that choice. It would have been weird to be the "married couple" in college, for us at least.

Don't push him because you might be pushing him away by being so persistent.

Answer

Wow. Just wow.
That's all I can say really.... A guy won't just put a ring on your finger just because you "demand" it. Eesh.
No offence but the way this is worded you sound like a spoilt brat 😐
The way I see it is - if you put a timer on a relationship like that, tell a guy he HAS to propose in that time else you're breaking up with him then tbh do you even respect the relationship or just want a rock?

You've said you've spoke about marriage, that means the idea IS there, he says when the time is right  - because he wants to plan it properly and have it be something you remember. I've been with my OH for over 2.5 years and were not engaged yet but he's talked of proposing but like yours has said he wants to wait for right time.

Just chill.

Answer

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We are living together now. He's 24 and I'm 21. I'm also from a very old fashioned and religious family why he isn't. He wants to be married... eventually. Just like I want to be married. But he isn't ready for that yet and I respect that. You can't force him to propose to you or he might come to resent you and feel like you pushed him into something he wasn't ready for. It will lead to a bad marriage and possibly divorce. It isn't cool of you to pressure him like that. Could you imagine him pressuring you like that for anything? It'd be totally unacceptable to you and you'd be pissed. You're honestly lucky he hasn't broken up with you yet. I know I'd leave anyone who tried to control and pressure me like that.

Answer

I think that's harsh saying basically if you don't propose then your ending it. Sounds childish tbh. Your only 19 and your that worried about getting married when you have your whole life ahead. My and my boyfriend are getting engaged and we want be getting married till we move out so we will be 22-26 or something. It doesn't sound like you love him that much if you only want him for marriage? I would go easy on him and not be so pushy

Answer

It's best to call off the deadline.

Answer

If you push him and he's not ready he'll push back harder.

Answer

Thanks i thought i was being pushy and your so right i do have my whole life. I guess i just let everyone around me get to me.

Answer

I'm sorry but why would you state that you'll only date him for two more years and if he didn't propose by then you'll break up? This "perfect time" is when you and him are at a comfortable place where the only logical step is marriage. I mean you've only been together for 2.5 years and you're only 19. I've been with my SO for 3 years so far and I'm only 18 I've never imagined that me and him would get married in 2 years nor do I give him an ultimatum. As long as you love him, I think both of you can endure a few more years of dating before officially being engaged. ☺️

Answer

I don't quite understand the rush. In a healthy and strong relationship, marriage shouldn't really be that big of a step anyways- it's more or less just a celebration and putting what you already have down on paper, you're not really gaining anything that you didn't have before! Plus it's rather expensive.

I'm 19 too, I know I'm still growing as a person. My boyfriend is 22 and he feels the same about himself. We both know we could be totally different people in a couple years who no longer want the same things.

At the end of the day you should never pressure someone who is going to potentially ask to spend the rest of his life with you. Isn't the fact that he is willing to do so enough??

Proposal deadline?

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