Do I have right to be angry?

Question

I'm about 32 weeks pregnant. Today my husband is driving an hour away with family for his familys christmas dinner. I am not attending because i've been so sick. Yesterday I had alot of pain in my belly and we joked about her (the baby) coming now.

Well this morning i woke up in tears because this pain was so intense. I went pee and it was a bit better but every few minutes my stomach tightens and its very painful. Theres also a bad pressure going into my vagina (tmi sorry) its extremely uncomfortable and painful. Sadly, my doctor is on vacation and i dont want to go to the hospital until i know for sure its time. Especially since its so early. He asked if he should take me to the hospital and i told him no, but i was still in extreme pain and crying. A few minutes later he said he loved me and left to go to his familys christmas thing. I realize he hasnt seen them in a while and they miss him but.. Im angry that he just left when im in all this pain because now if i do go into labor, i have no one to take me and the ambulance takes so long due to where we live. He didnt really seem worried about it and now hes driving an hour away and im alone, still in pain. I feel helpless and scared. Not to mention i feel completely angry that he left me like this.

Accepted Answer

1) You need to first call the dr on staff to speak to someone about your pains. Even if your dr is out, they won't leave pregnant women without someone to talk to.

2) if you are having contractions, then you need to time them. Delivery is a marathon, not a sprint. Normal labor takes time. You aren't going to pop out a baby any min, but you should report contractions and how far apart they are to the dr on staff, especially if they are regular. The general rule I have always been given is more than 6 an hour, then call.

3) I'd let him go with my blessing. Pregnancy comes with lots of cramps and achy feelings and pressure, especially in the third trimester. Much of this is totally normal. I don't sweat the small stuff. I would take a long bath and put my feet up and watch girl tv while eating whatever I wanted. This is my third baby though. There is a lot of unknown and stress with the first baby, but trust me when I say the third trimester sucks! Lots of pains and contractions can come and go. With my second born I had false labor for two weeks before delivery. Talk about miserable. I was still working...

Again, labor is a marathon, not a sprint. Even IF it's labor, it's not happening immediately. He will have time to get back. If the dr is concerned, then you can call an ambulance for emergencies.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: I'm confused why you haven't called the dr office. If you are so concerned to keep him home, then you should be calling the dr and should have done so before he left. If you don't feel this is important enough to call the dr, then it's not important enough for him to miss his family on their Christmas holiday. Just my opinion.

Answer

Don't be angry... You told him that he can go!

Guys can be clueless to hints that we want them to stay or even do something... I know this because even my husband admitted to this! Be straight forward with him.

If he calls to check up on you and you still feel like he should be by your side, say so! Tell him to come home!

Take the advice the other gals are saying on here, call the Dr office and see what they recommend you to do.

Answer

If you expected him to stay you should have said so. We can't be upset when people don't meet our expectations when we haven't told them our expectations. Like many have said you need to call ur Doctor...labor can be hours OR super super quick. If you are in labor now at 31 weeks they are going to try and stop it.

Answer

He probably thinks that if you aren't calling to dr (even if it isn't "your" dr) and do t want him to take you to the hospital then you are fine. Men are not mind readers. And honestly if you are in that much pain you need to do something, be it calling the on call dr or going in to get checked over.  You really can't have it both ways.

Answer

Men aren't that bright, if you wanted to stay with him you should have told him that.

Answer

You should call the hospital and ask them what they want you to do. Like she said, even if you're in labor, it'll be hours and hours and hours before the baby comes. No need to ruin your husband's Christmas by making him sit and watch you cry while not letting him do anything to help. Go relax, watch a movie, whatever.

Answer

I am not sure why people are telling her it will be hours and hours of labor? I had both of my Children early and they were both preemies and one labor was under 4 hours total and the other was 1.5 hours so you can't really say how long her labor will be at all. But I do agree you should definitely call the Dr and let them know. And also, rather or not I was really in labor or not, if I was in that much pain my husband would have stayed with me without me having to ask and would have brought me to the hospital even if I said I was ok. I don't understand why it is such a big deal that she is upset about her husband leaving her alone during this time. You have every right to be upset! Please though for your own sanity call or go get checked out because if it is preterm labor they will want to try to stop it before it gets to be too late.

Answer

I would be very upset. christmas is every year. He should be with you at this time

Answer

Maybe he didn't realize you wanted him to stay with you. Most men aren't good at just getting the idea that you want something. I not saying you don't have a right to feel hurt, though.

Answer

Honestly I would've gone too... I understand how much pain you're in but if you don't want to go to the hospital there's nothing he can do

Do I have right to be angry?

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