How to help child adjust to new baby?

Question

My daughter is 4.5 and has been an only child her whole life until last week when we welcomed our second baby girl. My 4 year old has been dreaming of being a big sister for so long now and was sooo excited everyday when i was pregnant for her little sister to come. The first week since being home from the hospital our daughter was nothing but sweet and over the moon excited! she still is very happy and affectionate & helpful towards the baby, but is now showing major behavioral changes. It’s meltdown after meltdown about the smallest things, and she won’t listen for the life of her. she is never like this so i’m obviously very worried. I’ve been trying to still do as much as I can to play with her and involve her in everything, but i am worn out. My husband works from 8am-8pm and i’m drowning. Please please comment any tips that helped you if you’ve gone through this.

Answer

My oldest son was 4.5 when I had my second & he did this too. I laid in bed with him one day too just talk about how he was feeling & he told me he was scared my husband & I were going to like the new baby more than him. We reassured him that would never ever happen & we immediately involved him with everything regarding the new baby. He helped feed him, helped throw away dirty diapers, we let him hold him (with supervision), stuff like that.

Answer

My daughter is 19 months so a lot younger. I have her come help with diaper changes, getting his clothes, doing laundry, doing dishes, along with playing and activities for her while he is sleeping. I show her how he eats (breastfeeding) I read her books even if she is running around the house while he is eating. My son is 5 weeks tomorrow, it’s definitely an adjustment, I’d just suggest spending more time with her while baby is sleeping so she knows she’s not forgotten about

Answer

Try a routine for her. I had to create one when my son was 3 and i had my second. But i would spend my time with him. I would feed my second son and as soon as he was finished i would put him down on his crib or a rocking chair. Then i would go spend time with my first. It might work or not but it doesn't hurt to try.

Answer

My son was having extreme meltdowns a little bit before he turned 4. Part of it is age I think. I was already in my third trimester and it lastest many months and was very extreme and lastest 1-2 hours at a time. Meanwhile, we have discussed baby a lot since we told him around 20wks and what he can do to help with baby. It's since gotten so much better and I think part of it is us trying our best not to argue with him and feed the meltdown and sometimes having to ignore bad behavior and just move on. In our case, I don't think it was entirely baby-related (though baby wasn't here yet) but a testing if boundaries and age related behavior. I hope this phase passes for you, it should be temporary. Maybe try giving your daughter baby related tasks and schedule something inside like a movie night just the two of you weekly. Wish I had more advice!

How to help child adjust to new baby?

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